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Life Of A Sugar Baby: Not Just A Girls' Club

Fehbe Meza, Isabella Sayyah |
December 29, 2014 | 9:20 a.m. PST


Some of the "perks" of being a Sugar Daddy as listed on SeekingArrangement.com (Screengrab)
Some of the "perks" of being a Sugar Daddy as listed on SeekingArrangement.com (Screengrab)
This story is the last of a three-part project, "Life of a Sugar Baby." For Part One, click here. For Part Two, click here.

Though the term “sugar baby” might conjure up the image of young women, the lifestyle is not exclusively female. Brandon moved to California from Florida four years ago to pursue acting but quickly discovered the fame he desired might be out of reach. In an attempt to survive in Los Angeles while seeking out auditions and go-sees, he turned to another source of income.

“I have had two sugar mamas within the past five years,” Brandon said. “I was crashing on my friends’ couches and doing odd jobs on Craigslist because I needed a flexible job to go on auditions almost every day. I wasn’t getting callbacks. The struggle was real.”

His luck changed when he hit it off with a woman at a bar. What Brandon originally thought was a one-night stand became something more.

“We went to her place, and in the morning, she had breakfast for me. She had to go to work but said if I wanted to stay, I could, and I could help myself to whatever was in the fridge. Best believe I did,” Brandon said. 

That woman allowed Brandon to stay at her apartment for the next few months during which she also took him shopping and gave him money for his grooming upkeep.

“I was like her pet,” he said.

Despite her generosity, Brandon’s sugar mama never asked him to be exclusive with her or opened up to him emotionally in any way. Instead, he accompanied her to her friends’ parties or to dinners at trendy restaurants. It became clear to Brandon he was simply an accessory.

“She would pick out my clothes when we went out. I looked good for her,” Brandon said.

He quickly found a way to use the opportunity to his advantage. “I networked like crazy when I went out with her. She knew a lot of well-connected people, and it helped me land a part-time job at a bank without having to go through hoops with applications and interviews.”

Brandon has since worked his way up the ladder at the bank and is no longer pursuing acting. While working there, he met his second sugar mama, whom he’s had a slightly different relationship with. 

“She spoke about her problems but didn’t really like sex. I think she kept me around because no other guy wanted to listen to her if she wasn’t going to put out for them,” Brandon said. “It was kind of sad because she was a really interesting person.” 

Brandon never used Seeking Arrangement, What’s Your Price, or any other website promoting mutually beneficial dating. However, as a user on regular dating websites, he doesn’t see a problem with them. 

“It’s no longer about what you know but about who you know,” he said. “If you can meet someone who can support you while you’re trying to get control of your life and they won’t add any drama, I say why not?”

Who are the mamas and daddies?

The idea of a sugar daddy is hardly new. Wealthy older men have been treating younger women to expensive lifestyles and gifts for many years. These websites are a simplified way of arranging the mutually beneficial relationships. 

Emily has found many of the men on the website are businessmen, which makes sense considering the general trend among many sugar daddies on the site that Johnson pointed out.

“[They are] extremely busy with extremely hectic jobs, and don’t have time to date,” Johnson said. 

For those who are busy and don’t have time to meet people on their own, paying a woman for companionship makes sense. Supporters say sugar daddies are not paying for sex, though; making sugar babies non-official girlfriends rather than prostitutes or escorts. 

But while employees of the company and women on it argue that the men on the sites are often looking for companionship and conversations more so than sex, the actual sugar daddies seem less willing to give their side of the story. 

Under the name Elizabeth, we asked men on Seeking Arrangement if they would be willing to talk about why they joined, and their thoughts on the sugar daddy/sugar baby relationships. The members that did not ignore us gave interesting responses. 

“Chivalry Above All Else” advised us on how we should go about doing my research: “Why not just be a sugar baby yourself and live what your writing. Like going deep undercover. Do you like for a man to give you pretty things and money simply to be in your presence. Your number if you may young lady.” 

Johnny from Beverly Hills agreed to meet with us to talk about it, as long as he received something in return. 

“We could possibly meet up would there be any type of compensation on your end to me? Not necessarily money.” 

Reach Contributor Fehbe Meza here. Follow her on Twitter here.

Reach Contributor Isabella Sayyah here. Follow her on Twitter here.



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