I left the Kundalini meditation session panicked. Less than 24 hours had passed since our arrival at Osho International Meditation Resort in Pune, India,
and already I felt like I was losing my mind.

In Kundalini meditation, first you shake and dance, then sit and lie still. Standing in a darkened room with 40 other bodies shaking in place, willing the vibration to move up my legs and to my arms, I thought about how I would describe my ashram experience to my mother. 

Then the stillness settled around me, as a sound of an alien spacecraft descending to Earth reverberated throughout the cavernous pyramidal chamber. 

During orientation, our guide had told us to follow the sensation of the music inside our bodies and minds. Sitting on the cold, black marble floor, I followed a single note somewhere within my inner Self. It was a sensation not unlike what I imagine having your brain sucked out through your ear would feel like. 

Then the music stopped. The walls came up. Letting go of my mind felt too much like losing it. 

If this was what having a religious experience is like, I’d rather not have one.