The Blonds FW13

Though the label may sound like it comes from a Southern California beach town, The Blonds actually is named after its two designers, Phillipe and David Blond. Since its 2004 debut, the brand's runways have often included over-the-top-pieces and pop culture references. Their Fall 2013 collection, "Slasher Sashay", was inspired by slasher movies, and included gems such as this Jack Nicholson dress. 

Fitting into the theme of slasher movies, this piece was apparently inspired by a straight jacket. Mental illness is often a bedrock of horror films like "American Psycho" and "Shutter Island"...because there's nothing like a good old fashioned exploitation of mental illness to get the crowd going.    

Haus Alkire FW13 

This Haus Alkire hard hat is extremely protective. WedMD has even named it the most effective form of contraception (EDIT: no it hasn't). Don't worry, no one will even try when your outfit is this blinding. 

Let's be honest, with a print so hideous, even Bob the Builder, when asked "can we fix it?" would concede, "no, we definitely can't". 

Adrian Alicea FW13 

If you were looking for something to wear while you moonlight as a dominatrix, you're in luck! Adrian Alicea has created a midnight-blue leather getup that'll fit all of your face-sitting needs. 

Though you may have expected this designer to have sprung from a different sort of profession, Adrian Alicea actually entered the fashion world as a model for Giorgio Armani, Jean-Paul Gaultier, and more. Alicea created his Haute Couture line in tribute to his Latino roots.  

Opening Ceremony FW13

Culturally-relevant runways are always appreciated, as are shock-tactics to gain press attention. Chloe Sevigny collaborated with Opening Ceremony to create this "Pussy Riot"-inspired line. Thanks for letting us know what time it is, Opening Ceremony. The clock said noon, but now we know better.

Toni Maticevski FW07

In case of an emergency, your seat bottom may be used as a floatation device. Unfortunately for this fashion emergency, even the biggest, yellowest parachute won't save this designer's career. 

Adam & Eve FW06

Adam and Eve came into the Garden of Eden naked. This may explain why this brand has little experience in the creation of flattering clothes. If Eve had actually worn this mustard monstrosity, the human race would have been extinguished before it even began. 

Chloe Dao FW06

This Chloe Dao 2006 piece is the mullet of dresses; business in the front, party in the back. If you ever want to make people think that you're someone's grandmother when you walk into a room and spread rumors about you on the way out, you have met your match.