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'How I Met Your Mother' Recap: Bedtime Stories

Gennyvera Pacheco |
November 26, 2013 | 3:53 p.m. PST

Staff Reporter

Robin is set out to eat an entire wedding cake not only because it's delicious. (CBS)
Robin is set out to eat an entire wedding cake not only because it's delicious. (CBS)
On the eve of the twenty-fifth, "How I Met Your Mother" took up rhyming.

With Thanksgiving just around the corner, so perfect was the timing.

The old gang had some of their shining moments told,

but choosing to drift away from the wedding was rather bold.

From Ted's dating woes to Robin conquering a cake,

the tales of his dad's friends kept little Marvin from staying awake.

So sit down, relax, and take off that thinking cap;

here comes your weekly and much-needed HIMYM recap.

All right, friends, as entertaining and appropos as a totally rhymed recap of this week would be, it's certainly difficult. I mean, trying to avoid using "plastic wrap" or "Cumberland gap" in that last couplet was a life-changing challenge.

The episode, titled "Bedtime Stories", started off with Marshall and baby Marvin still making their way to the wedding, now opting to take a bus instead of the massive .06 MPG truck he was driving before with Daphne. But in such a crowded vehicle, Marshall has to make sure his son is as quiet as possible, so he speaks in rhyme. The guy next to him finds this totally weird (although, let's face it, it's also pretty awesome) and Marshall explains when Lily was trying to calm Marvin down and nothing worked, until she saw that he grew tired because of the simple poetry of Mother Goose.

READ MORE: HIMYM 'Mom and Dad' Recap

Now, Marshall decides to read him the book and get him to sleep. Everything's fine...until he realizes he left the book in the car. Now what? He puts the wacky adventures of his friends to good use and makes stories out of them!

The gang celebrates since Teddy-Westside got a date. (CBS)
The gang celebrates since Teddy-Westside got a date. (CBS)
First tale of the episode: "Mosby Up to Bat."

While Ted sits in his office at Columbia University, a new physics professor walks in. Her name's Lisa, and she tells him that word on the street is Ted's lectures are super entertaining. Lisa herself is struggling to keep students engaged; she feels that if someone can make architecture interesting anything is possible, so she asks Ted if he would like to go to dinner and give her some pointers. 

Ted puts his offense aside, and takes up her offer. He tells his friends at the bar, and they're all puzzled whether or not it's strictly a co-worker thing or an actual date. Barney explains one of his theory called the International Dateline, and gives a visual with a globe. The sphere has two sides: Not A Date and Date. According to the creator behind this concept, the first one means that you go home tonight, but the second option? You go home tomorrow. Bam.

So Ted is set out to find any indicators of whether it is indeed a date. There's a Yankee game on TV while they're dining, and Lisa's really invested in the game. Ted makes the wrong (and stereotype-driven) assumption that Lisa's a lesbian after revealing that she was in her college softball team. However, she later goes on to say the real reason why she finds the game so important. 

Apparently, Lisa had a fling with someone on the team, and the rest of the time Ted desperately wants to know who it was. He finally begs her to tell him. Lisa got together with none other than Derek Jeter, and she shows Ted a picture of them together to prove it. Ted is infuriated, but not because she slept with Derek Jeter, but because the guy in the picture is his dear friend Barney, posing as a professional baseball player.

By the end, Ted decides that even if this outing was a date, he knows there won't be another one.

Back in the bus, Marvin is fast asleep and absolutely adorable, while his dad's relieved. Now he too can rest easy. But you gotta love a bus driver with road rage, yelling and honking at every other car on the road! Obviously, the baby wakes up and cries due to having his sleep disrupted.

Getting baby Marvin to sleep is not easy when everything has to rhyme. (CBS)
Getting baby Marvin to sleep is not easy when everything has to rhyme. (CBS)
Thus, story number two: "Robin Takes The Cake."

After a nasty break-up with Don or Scooby or one of her many boyfriends, Robin was a mess. She went to a bakery to get some much-needed dessert with her hair in a frizzy clump and her clothes stained from days of wearing them. That all makes it pretty terrible to run into someone like Simon, Robin's first boyfriend, looking dapper in a suit and hair slicked back. 

It's different from the last time he saw him, circa season three in "Sandcastles In The Sand," when Simon had a giant beer belly and a receding hairline. Robin's taken aback and decides to make her move and go out with him, only to find out he's engaged to Louise Marsh, the girl whose parents got a jacuzzi. He's at the bakery to pick up their wedding cake.

Out of anger and disappointment, Robin buys the damn cake, unaware of the consequences. Well okay, the sole consequence here is that she bought a whole cake with no one to eat it but her. When she gets back to the apartment and tells Ted, he's furious and says she has to return the cake. Robin then takes a bite out of it, so now that's no longer an option. She keeps eating it, and then feels terrible for doing so. 

Lily, however, doesn't think she should be ashamed. After a powerful pep talk, it's decided that Robin has to eat the whole cake to prove a point! And after gathering a crowd of spectators, she does it! But Robin doesn't stop there. If she made it this far, it's because she's going to drink an entire keg afterwards. That day no longer went down in history as the time Robin got dumped and one-upped by Simon, but it was the day she ate and drank so much she had to get her stomach pumped.

By this point, Marshall is sad that they missed the rehearsal dinner, but at least the baby's asleep again. Then again, when you need him most, the bus driver yells at some other car and it's time for story number three!

Barney prevails over a council of players and ladies' men like himself.
Barney prevails over a council of players and ladies' men like himself.
"Barney Stinson: Player King of New York City."

Now Mr. Stinson is known for his suave personality, and when opportunity strikes to show off his skills, he grabs a hold of it. One night, he and his friends are sitting in their usual booth when a girl walks in. He's ready to introduce himself when it's pointed out that she's way out of his league. Barney then explains how he can make it happen, since he is in fact the Player King of New York City, so she's totally going home with him.

Of course, Ted, Marshall, Robin, and Lily are all skeptical of his title. In order to prove them wrong, Barney tells them about a council he met after sleeping with a girl in the East Side (the girl is actually Lisa, the girl who went on a date with Ted). The council itself is with filled guys who have a way with the ladies, and they all look pretty familiar. Maybe it's due to the fact that they all look like Barney dressed in various disguises...but hey, who knows?

So the men of the group are peeved at Barney for marching in on their territory. They agree to stop the dispute when two of the other kings propose that Barney set them up with Lily and Robin. He complies, but it doesn't matter: turns out the drinks the rest of the council had were poisoned by him so he got out of the deal.

While Barney was telling this captivating story, Ted got with the girl at the bar since Barney never called dibs. The Bro Code is in action!

If you're like me, you were probably wondering why the heck Marshall would tell these stories to his own son at such a young age. Earlier in the episode, between stories, he clarified that Marvin is not as impressionable at his age. When the guy seated next to him in the bus brought up the same concern Marshall asked him what the first thing ever that he remembers, and the guy responds by talking about something that happened when he was three. 

Will Marvin remember these stories? No, but he will remember the fireworks shimmering in the night sky when the bus stopped on the side of the road. During the magnificent display Marshall tells the baby one final rhyme about getting to the inn and having to argue with Lily about the judgeship issue. It all seems far away until he asks how far the inn is from where they are.

Five miles. Marshall gets a crazy gleam in his eye when he proclaims his decision to walk with little Marvin in tow. It's Marshall versus the machine once again.

Is it a bad idea to walk all the way to the wedding? Hopefully we'll see the outcome of Marshall's impulse decision next week, where the episode is full of bad ideas. Barney wants a laser tag rehearsal dinner, Ted dresses up as Liberace. It's casual.

WATCH: Promo for "The Rehearsal Dinner" premiering Monday at 8PM on CBS.

Reach Staff Reporter Gennyvera Pacheco here.



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