warning Hi, we've moved to USCANNENBERGMEDIA.COM. Visit us there!

Neon Tommy - Annenberg digital news

Government Shutdown: 5 Reasons Why Lane Kiffin Could Replace Harry Reid

Max Meyer |
October 1, 2013 | 3:40 p.m. PDT

Senior Sports Editor

Lane Kiffin, in a suit, addressing the American public about political issues just makes perfect sense. (Creative Commons)
Lane Kiffin, in a suit, addressing the American public about political issues just makes perfect sense. (Creative Commons)

As most people know, the U.S. government shut down and Lane Kiffin was fired as USC's football coach. Am I the only one who sees an easy solution to fix the problems that this country is currently having? Clearly, Kiffin needs to replace Senator Harry Reid as the new Senate Majority Leader. 

Kiffin somehow continued to move up the job ladder despite failing at his previous regimes. The only job that I can think of that is potentially better than USC football coach is a position within the U.S. government.

Here are a few reasons why Kiffin would be a perfect fit.

1. He's An Excellent Liar

The National Security Agency cover-up was considered to be one of the biggest lies by a government agency to the American public in United States history. However, that's only because Lane Kiffin's lies aren't as well-known among the public. 

At the beginning of the 2012 college football season, USC was thought of as one of the top teams in the country. When it came time to vote on the college football rankings in the USA Today Coaches' Poll, Kiffin told reporters that, "I would not vote USC number one, I can tell you that." 

Kiffin, however, did in fact vote his team as the top one in the country. Like any good liar would do, he quickly came up with a logical solution, giving up his vote in all coaches' polls for the remainder of the season. 

Additionally, after a previous coaching stint with the Oakland Raiders, he was called "a flat-out liar" by owner Al Davis once Kiffin was fired. If Kiffin could get jobs with Tennessee and USC with that ringing endorsement, isn't a position with the U.S. government the next logical step?

2. He Manages To Create More Problems Than He Fixes

The U.S. government is stuck in trillions of dollars in debt, with a high unemployment rate and  controversial health care law. Instead of getting someone to help with these problems, President Barack Obama should appoint someone who will not solve anything, to continue the recent trend. 

Luckily, Lane Kiffin has the perfect resumé.

MORE: Government Shutdown: Tea Party Members Speak Out

In a game against the University of Colorado last season, Kiffin did not need to pull out any tricks to beat the worst team in the Pac-12. Yet, despite USC being 40-point favorites, quarterback Cody Kessler and punter Kyle Negrete switched jerseys to fool the opponent on a two-point conversion. 

Two weeks later, a USC student manager was accused of deflating USC's footballs in their game against Oregon. While it may sound like a disadvantage, deflating footballs actually makes it easier to throw and catch them, and these were footballs that only USC had access to. 

Isn't this who you want to be the face of the United States government? (Creative Commons)
Isn't this who you want to be the face of the United States government? (Creative Commons)

3. He Can't Handle The Media

Politicians and the media have always had a bumpy relationship. The Los Angeles Times did an investigative report on Reid and his ability to pressure regulatory agencies to help the business interests of his close friend, Harvey Whittemore. Whittemore has donated a lot of money to Reid's campaigns, and even hired Reid's son as his personal attorney. 

The project was reportedly a $30 billion golf-course development that was highly criticized by environment groups because of possible effects to endangered species in the area. 

In a 2012 interview with The Huffington Post, Reid accused Mitt Romney, the Republican Presidential nominee, of not paying taxes for the past 10 years. However, CBS reported that Romney submitted 23 years of tax returns during John McCain's campaign in 2008 since he was being considered for the vice presidential nomination at the time, which refuted Reid's claims. 

Lane Kiffin and the media are not the best of friends either. He closed USC practices to the media this season, which was the complete opposite approach of former coach Pete Carroll, who made the practices open to everybody. Kiffin attempted to get a reporter, Scott Wolf of the Los Angeles Daily News, banned from practices after Wolf reported about an injury. 

MORE: 3 Coaches That Could Replace Lane Kiffin 

Then there's this infamous moment with the media, when Kiffin walked out of a press conference after 29 seconds when he was asked a question that he did not want to answer. Also notice Kiffin's expression in the video during the press conference, as it's clear that he enjoys being around the media as much as most other politicians. 

4. He Doesn't Know How To Effectively Manage People

Instead of helping out the country and the American people, the federal government has shut down because there wasn't an agreement regarding President Obama's health care law. The fact that the leaders in the government could not get the two sides to agree on an important topic is disheartening, leading to the first government shutdown in almost 20 years.

Kiffin did not do a great job of managing the personnel he had at USC either. Despite having extremely talented tight ends throughout his tenure, Kiffin rarely included them in the gameplan. Jordan Cameron, a tight end who could not find regular playing time under Kiffin, has already caught five touchdown passes for the Cleveland Browns this season, tied for third-most in the NFL.

His limited offensive gameplans last season were a reason for the draft-stock falls of Matt Barkley and Robert Woods. He fired highly-respected USC coach Kennedy Polamalu. There were locker-room divides among USC players as well, including after getting blown out against Georgia Tech in last season's Sun Bowl. 

Kiffin was not a leader, and that's what ultimately doomed him. The United States government is also running short of leaders, and it makes sense that both them and Kiffin's tenure at USC were shutdown around the time. 

5. He's An Easy Scapegoat

People love to blame the government as the reason for all of their problems. Even though USC football has had several issues this season, like their lack of depth due to NCAA sanctions and below-average quarterback play in several games. Yet, Trojan fans seem to enjoy entirely blaming everything wrong with this season on Kiffin and his playcalling on offense. 

Kiffin, for some reason, would be an easy target regarding taking the blame for everybody's problems. I can see the future headlines now: Lane Kiffin is fully responsible for United States war with Syria or Lane Kiffin responsible for United States government shutdown. 

Wait, isn't he actually responsible for the latter?

Reach Senior Sports Editor Max Meyer by email.

Follow @TheMaxMeyer



Craig Gillespie directed this true story about "the most daring rescue mission in the history of the U.S. Coast Guard.”

Watch USC Annenberg Media's live State of the Union recap and analysis here.