One thing I have learned that is unavoidable in the realm of online dating is being catfished. I am not saying that this is intentional at all on the other person’s part, it is a matter of low angles and sharp lighting, boosting up their height and strengthening their jawline…at least in some cases. Each time I have met up with someone I am completely caught off guard. It is not necessarily in a bad way, it is just surprising. And every time I am tempted to pull up their profile on my phone and compare to make sure I am with the right person.

This makes me wonder what they think when I walk in the door, despite the fact that I try to put a variety of pictures of myself up so that they are getting me at every angle—me compared to other people, a door frame, a close up, a wide shot and maybe an upward shot to get an unflattering angle on my neck.

There is so much room for self-flattery and photoshopping online but when you come face to face the reality hits you like a train.

I have had several discussions with my friends who have also joined online dating in search of a good man. Over time several theories and stories have surfaced. A girl I met spent an entire night trying to figure out what exactly was “off” about her date. He was attractive, tall and nice, the perfect catch. But then as he walked her to her car it clicked—he walked like a turtle.

My sister, after going on a few Internet dates, has a theory that the community of online daters serves as proof of survival of the fittest. She was caught off guard by some flattering angles as well and since then came to a sort of realization that men on dating sites have low testosterone levels and therefore very feminine features, which is why they have not attracted a mate. Again these are simply theories.

One guy I met was so completely different from his profile there was no way I would have picked him out of a line. In his picture he had blond hair and in reality he had dark brown hair. I think I spent the first 30 minutes of the date trying to pull up his photo in my mind to compare what I had seen to what was sitting in front of me. I’m still curious to compare but am too afraid to revisit his profile because you can see who views your page.

The poor soul I met the night I could not keep quite was an interesting curveball. Kind of like the turtle-walk-man, there really was not anything bad about him just something was off. I think it may have been that he looked much older than his photo, but age does not usually throw me. I think in that situation I was most surprised that his height was accurate. I am used to men who are shorter than me claiming to be six feet tall, when I am barely 5’10”.

I realize that people want to put their best foot forward, especially when searching for companionship, but this is by far the most difficult part about online dating. Every time I step into the bar where I am going to meet the person who will be my drinking buddy for the next one to four hours I always have to take a deep breath, open my mind and brace for impact. I never know what to expect.

Read More Dating Mishaps: 

ADBSF: Experiments in Online Dating Week 3

ADBSF: Experiments in Online Dating Week 2

ADBSF: Experiments in Online Dating Week 1