Sunday, oh golly gee. You know what that means. It's time to check in with the supes over in Bon Temps and see what's up. Not Sookie apparently, she's gettng her beauty rest from all that falling-in-a-pool-of-blood last episode. 

First things first: Warlow. He's officially broken through whatever faerie prison was containing him and he looks super pissed. Well, as much as we can see of him under the wild wild west outfit.

Turns out last week the writers punk'd us (but mostly Jason Stackhouse) into thinking Jason's hitchhiking ride was actually Warlow, but nope, the dude is just his faerie grandfather. Of course! Grandaddy says Jason better straighten up if they're going to fight Warlow. He's got a cowboy hat, after all. 

The Governor's commandos left Fangtasia but also their super painful silver bullet inside Tara's leg. Yikes. Pam is a concerned mom/girlfriend and Eric shows up with Nora to remove the thing, which also emits UV light? I don't really know what that's all about, but pshhh Eric says he'll give the humans a war if they want it. Like, now even. He does some angry boy shouting before leaving his vamp ladies to scour the vampire bible for clues about Billith.

Poor Jessica. While she's dealing with a catatonic Billith, he's really off having a cryptic question and answer sesh with Lilith in his mind. And boy does Bill have lotsa questions. Who am I? What is this place? Am I a god? What's with this new "fully clothed" thing? I was just getting used to the naked bloody scab getup--

Over at Merlotte's, Arlene gives Sookie a ring to remind her that oh, right, she's a waitress, and should probably do her job. Even half-faerie vampire girlfriends have to show up for work. Look there's Terry! He's doing his job making pancakes and stuff! Ugh, and there he goes bringing us back to the storyline no one cared about last season, aka Patrick and the curse of the ifrit. Patrick's pregnant wife shows looking for her hubby, but Arlene lets the girl think good ol' Pat left her for another woman. 

Sookie's so so close to arriving at her actual job, but uhhh there's an extremely hot guy moaning and groaning on the side of the road. Wait, seriously? We've seen this before. It's an all-too familiar callback to Sookie saving Bill from the pilot, but this time it's "Ben" and he's a half faerie too! What are the chances. He was attacked by a vampire, and Sookie decides to nurse Hot Ben back to health at her place. They make swoony eyes at each other and seriously will she ever go to work and what else is new. 

Sam has Lafayette playing the Brittany Murphy to Emma's Dakota Fanning from "Uptown Girls" when some hipsters show up at Merlotte's and want to talk to him. Their leader, Nicole, is from the Vampire Unity Society, and she wants Sam to out himself as a shifter. She compares her cause to the Civil Rights Movement and every other movement and this is the part where "True Blood" gets the most ridiculous it has ever been. Can someone page Alan Ball stat? 

Jessica orders some food in the form of Veronica for comatose Bill, aka a skanky fangbanger from "Human Edibles." What ensues next is the most horrible limb crunching contortionist act since "Black Swan," leaving Veronica in the worst kind of edible arrangement with all her blood spewing like a fountain into Billith's mouth. Jess is horrified, as is the rest of America, wishing we could all just go back to the days of plain ol' Lorena neck-twisty sex. 

Ben is all alone and no one is nice to him in the "big bad world" and he can tell Sookie is a "good person" and Sookie takes him on a walk to the faerie club portal thing where he can be safe and I'm not sure why we should care at all. Speaking of faeries, Andy takes his half-fae youngsters to the same field to try and find their mom. No such luck. 

Jason shows Faerie Grandpappy the portal in the Stackhouse bathroom Warlow tried to enter last season. Grandpa jumps in and returns shortly, proclaiming "it's worse than I thought!" No way!!!

Ruh roh, Nora says a passage from the vampire bible has been mistranslated. Frankly Nora, Pam doesn't give a damn. But hey, Eric is a proud papa, Nora says, and maybe they should all just be friends and sleep with each other. 

Speaking of Eric, for his next trick, he will dress like a dweeb and pose as a rep from the department of wildlife and fisheries in order to glamor the Governor into retracting his policies on vampires. Except oops, humans have anti-glamor contact lenses these days and Eric never got the memo. He gets arrested and condemened to "camp" but flies away, only to show up later at the Governor's daughter's window once she's all contact-less.

Jason apparently has already forgiven Sookie for last episode, because the Stackhouses sit down to dinner with their new Grandaddy Niall to discuss Warlow. "We're the original Fae," Niall tells them. "I am king of our tribe." And apparently Warlow has never been down with this. In fact, he murdered Niall's parents, too. But it's cool, their bloodline has the power to channel a supernova energy ball that could even kill Cowboy Warlow. Sookie can do it, but if she uses it it'll take away her faerie powers for good. Dun dun dun.

Master Alcide and his pack (including Emma's grandma) show up at Sam's to take Emma from her new modern family. Alcide's new girl Danielle is pretty mean about it and gives Lala a good beating for trying to protect Sam. Nicole and her Vampire Unity Society hipster friends see the whole thing and do absolutely nothing to help except record it from outside. Yeahhhh the movement, man!

Jess buries corpsey Veronica and decides she's going to give some shout-outs prayer style to God or Billith or whoever is listening. "I don't know if you can hear me," she says to Bill, channeling Esmerelda from Disney Hunchback. And in a "for your consideration" Emmy moment, we get True Blood's MVP Deborah Ann Woll (an 'SC BFA theater alum) in a teary-eyed monologue blessing everyone in her life. Even those against Bill. Even long-lost Hoyt. Fight on, girl. 

And hey, it kinda works. But before Bill wakes up, Lilith can only tell him to "save us all" and that he'll "know what to do." The TV turns on to reveal humans dragging a vamp behind them on their truck with the police doing absolutely nothing, and Jessica points out that Bill saw this earlier in his head before going all coma-y. Hey! This means Billith can see the future! And alas, he says it just for good measure: "I can see the future." 

The downside? It doesn't look good. Cut to a flash-forward of our fav vamp friends getting burned to death in some kind of vampire camp. Looks like they've got a lot more to worry about than UV light bullets and contact lenses.

Watch the preview for next week here! Looks like Eric's got a date with the govna's daughter. 

Reach staff reporter Becca Grumet here. Follow her on Twitter here.