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Grammys 2013 Trend Alert: Slits Up To There

Kelly Hanelt |
February 10, 2013 | 8:53 p.m. PST

TV Editor

Solange Knowles (Twitpic)
Solange Knowles (Twitpic)

Angelina Jolie – we blame you. Ever since your right leg made international news at the 2012 Oscars, Hollywood hasn’t been able to keep it in their pants. Their legs, that is.

Cleavage has become cliché, and trains trite. Thigh-high slits are the new definition of “edge”, and they’ve popped up on everyone from Megan Fox (good) to Freida Pinto (bad… very bad). But nowhere has the trend been more evident than at the 2013 Grammys.

CBS’s new repressive dress code limited the traditionally risqué Grammy attire. No side-boob. No under-boob. No sheer. No buttcracks (when were there ever?). No visible underwear. How else were these stars expected to express their trademark hypersexuality? Enter the slit.

Solange Knowles’s bedazzled green dress was acceptably modest on top, but she let loose on bottom with a thigh-high opening showcasing her studded pink stilettos. Maria Menonous opted for a center slit, which showed off not one, but two toned legs. Shaun Robinson’s purple number fell open gracefully a few inches above her knee. And those are just the conservative ones.

READ MORE: Grammy 2013 Trend Alert: Wearing The Pants
5 Greatest Grammy Looks Of All Time

Jennifer Lopez... and her leg. (Twitpic)
Jennifer Lopez... and her leg. (Twitpic)

Though technically not a slit skirt, Katy Perry’s cleavage display still qualifies. We’re aware you’re rocking double-d’s Katy, we don’t need to know that much about it. And then there’s JLO. She’s 43. I think there should be a new rule in Hollywood that whatever your age is, that percent of your body should be covered. Lopez violated that new rule, the Grammys dress code, and our eyesight. Her slit could have ended on her thigh and been enough, but no, it kept going... and going… and going, before finally reaching a close on her hipbone. When presenting Lopez claimed she “read the memo,” now read this one: Ain’t nobody wanna see that.

So we’ve covered the classy, the trashy, and now – the train wrecks. Florence Welch. I bet most of you didn’t even realize her dress had a slit. You were too busy flipping channels to “Once Upon A Time” to learn how to slay a dragon. Because that’s exactly what she looked like. Sisters with Voices’s red, white and blue triple-slit display is the worst interpretation of the French flag the world has ever seen. And someone call the LAPD on Keltie Colleen because she blatantly stole that disaster from a high schooler’s closet. Grand theft prom.

So Hollywood, I think it’s high time to retire this trend. There may be a vowel difference between slit and slut, but they’re basically synonymous. The 2013 Oscars are just a few weeks away, so let’s bring this fad full-circle and retire it to K-Mart, where red carpet trends go to die at the reasonable price of $19.99.

Reach TV Editor Kelly Hanelt here. Follow her on Twitter here.



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