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6 Reasons Why You Need To See 'Trainwreck' This Weekend

Nate Gualtieri |
July 15, 2015 | 9:35 p.m. PDT

Staff Reporter

Amy Schumer (WikiMedia Commons)
Amy Schumer (WikiMedia Commons)
"Trainwreck" is anything but. Starring Amy Schumer as a promiscuous and boozy magazine writer, the script (also by Schumer) operates on an impeccable structure. Rather than try to reinvent the romantic comedy genre, "Trainwreck" follows the formula exactly, but it delivers too many laughs for us to care.

Amy operates on a strict one-night stand basis, until she is assigned to write an article on Dr. Aaron Conners (Bill Hader), a renowned sports medicine specialist. When he takes an interest in her that stretches beyond a second date, she finds herself having a hard time to adjust to the exclusivity. But this isn't a typical commitment-phobe story:

1. Amy Schumer is Bridget Jones on Crack

Amy can't keep a man around, and that's the way she likes it. In fact, she actively shoves them out the door. There's no moping around, there's no “desperate clingy woman” trope. Amy trades pints of Ben and Jerry's for pints of Guinness. Bridget Jones changes herself to please men—Amy flips them the bird and says take it or leave it.

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2. John Cena's Fake Penis

John Cena plays Amy's semi-boyfriend, and is naked for roughly 50% of his screen time in this movie. Actually, there's a lot of nudity in this. Lots of man butts. Which is fine, if you're into that sort of thing.

For most sex scenes, films usually just squish the man-parts into a thong that matches the actor's skin tone. But in the name of realism, the costume department outfitted Cena with a fake penis to simulate a real erection. Method acting? Throw in the brilliant “dirty talk” (in which mega-beefcake Cena gets himself worked up to the thought of lifting and protein) and you'll walk out of the theater fully satisfied. Gives a whole new meaning to “dirty bulk.”

3. Ezra Miller is in This

No spoilers, but you'll understand when you watch it. Trust me. Let's just say things get weird.

4. LeBron James Has a Sensitive Side

LeBron actually acts in this movie, and it's honestly pretty impressive. His little bromance with Aaron has a surprising amount of chemistry. Equally impressive is the fact that LeBron didn't know just how big his role was until he had agreed to be in the film. Could this be the start of a new career after his NBA retirement? We'll see.

5. There's Some Real Talk Thrown In

Schumer knows how to make fun of herself. A thirty-something white girl, she'll be the first to point it out. She calls herself and Aaron “the whitest couple in New York,” aware of how naive their cutesy romance montages must look to outsiders. There's only about 1 million rom-coms about a straight white couple, but as long as they're making one, they might as well be self-aware about that bubble.

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6. Uteruses Before Duderuses

Most films are made with men as the target audience. Protagonists are overwhelmingly male, and women on screen are usually reduced to decoration. Anyone can understand the jokes in "Trainwreck," but there's a lot of humor specifically tailored towards women: menstruation jokes, pregnancy jokes, and women not being afraid to be gross. The current film climate loves to see women being badly behaved, women being badasses, and women being just plain bad. Amy Schumer is as bad as it gets.

Overall, "Trainwreck" delivers an impressive amount of laughs per minute, and an equally impressive amount of celebrity/athlete cameos. Extra props to director Judd Apatow for proving again (after his "Bridesmaids" hit) that women can star in a commercially successful comedy. Only 10,000 more films until we even the score.

Contact Staff Reporter Nate Gualtieri here.



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