It’s recently come to my attention that pseudo-journalists everywhere have been singing the praises of the “dadbod,” which is the polite term for a soft, squishy male body achieved only after long grueling months of beer and sitting on futons. 

“It’s endearing,” they say. “It’s unintimidating and you’ll know what to expect from their body in 30 years.” You know, like how you buy a dilapidated house so you know what to expect from it a few decades down the road.

I’m not here to argue against the dadbod, because I’m not here to scorn people’s tastes or to objectify people based on their body types. But I’ll say it now and I’ll say it clearly: How messed up is it that we’re praising the dadbod?

Girls everywhere are starving themselves and tearing themselves apart to meet society’s impossible female beauty standards. Thigh gaps, bikini bridges, and dozens of other ridiculous “body trends” are sending young women into self-destructive downward spirals as they attempt to achieve this illusion of a perfect body – it’s absolutely unwinnable. The media shames women for being fat; Meghan Trainor songs shames women for being thin. Magazines commend new celebrity mothers on how quickly they shed their baby weight, then turn around and lampoon another young woman for her “shocking” weight loss. Every day is a dizzying race to make something bigger, make something else smaller, and –most importantly– to make it all look effortless.

And here we are congratulating men on their beer bellies?

No one is ever going to tell women that muffin tops and stretch marks are suddenly in, that their workout routine need only consist of seven consecutive pieces of pizza followed by a Bob’s Burgers marathon on the couch. Society has been telling women for years that laziness and imperfection are simply unacceptable, but now it also has the nerve to tell them that these traits are desirable in their male counterparts. This is only deepening the unfair and frankly dangerous assumption that appearance matters more to women than to men, letting men completely off the hook while attempting to brainwash women into believing that this dadbod is all we should expect and want from a male partner.

Again, I have nothing against the dadbod itself. It’s the dadbod craze that needs to end, just like any other movement telling people to look a certain way or prefer a certain body – the dadbod trend just has the added bonus of being incredibly hypocritical, so it deserves to die a doubly quick death. Boys, do what you want with your bodies. Go to the gym and get “swoll,” perfect your burrito-and-couch routine until you’re the spitting image of Seth Rogen in Knocked Up – it’s all the same to us.

But give your dadbod a poke the next time you read the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition, and hopefully the irony of it all will come crashing down on your head like a torrent of beer cans.

Reach Contributor Jules Zucker here.