Open Letter To A Sexual Harasser
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All women have felt that icy shiver at some point or another, that horrible feeling when you gasp and can’t release your breath, your heart jumps into your throat, and the hair on the back of your neck stands up. Sometimes it’s while you're watching a gruesome scene on TV, other times it’s when you're walking down the street alone at night.
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What causes this omnipresent wariness? It’s no boogeyman, but experiences time and time again that signal for women to be cautious; be wary. It’s the man shouting grotesque things as a woman rushes to get to work on time, or the car that slows down to watch a female jogger crossing the street.
My biggest so-called shiver still gives me aftershocks, which inspired me to write this poem to float it out of my system:
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Dear A**hole, I went to your table because my parents taught me to respect my elders. So when I saw you sitting there I thought you might care For some company, some pleasantries to share. But what I didn’t see behind that wrinkled face Was the sickening pace That you, because of your old age, privilege, and race Thought you could hijack our conversation To talk about you days of Air Force soars and scores Reliving the moments while staring at me from head to floor. And, by the way, My “hamburger buns,” as you so raunchily pointed them out, Aren’t there so you can cook your meat. Thanks for ruining my day. For-never yours, Prey that got Away |
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Poetry aside, unfortunately in our society all of this is just part of being a woman. It’s sickening that I consider myself lucky to have never been sexually assaulted.
In my short two years of college thus far, countless women have been brave enough to share their stories with me, women who are increasingly finding these horrific experiences as common ones.
I am so, so proud of the two women who agreed to share their stories with you all. Interviewing them both was a whirlwind of a process; we laughed and gossiped the nervousness away at the beginning, and cried and consoled each other after they were finished sharing their stories with me. My heart broke each time I went through the audio clips, and yet, I was so proud of them both for speaking out as survivors of sexual assault. Both have chosen to remain anonymous for this piece, but, I can promise you, they are two of the most accomplished, positive, and strong individuals I have the fortune of knowing. What happened to both of these women still causes them pain, but their outer and inner beauty outshines the dark corners. I have no doubt that they will both go on to do wonderful things.
And please, if you or someone you know has been sexually assaulted, seek out resources that are right for you. No one should have to endure the aftermath of sexual assault alone.
I, for one, would be happy to get coffee with or talk on the phone to anyone who needs help healing, so feel free to reach out (my email and Twitter are below). Let all of your friends know that you’re there for them, too.
The more we talk openly about sexual assault, the easier it will be for victims to speak up.
Contact Reporter Sarah Collins here. Follow her on Twitter here.
