A College Guide To The World Cup: 7 Ways To Pick Your Team
Comments (1)
John Daly knew game time meant time to rock the red, white and blue. (Jeff Gross/Getty Images)
The World Cup is upon us. Whether this is an opportunity for you to resurrect that U-S-A chant you started at Stagecoach, break out your stars and stripes Chubbies at the pool, or simply pop open an ice cold PBR and raise your drink to ‘Merca, the nation’s soccer following is about to increase tenfold.
Unfortunately, as even the most diehard American Outlaws will tell you, it’s probably a good idea to have another team to root for. You know, "just in case."
But how do you choose your team when you know nothing about soccer? The only boots you don are your cowboy boots, you know pitch is exclusively a baseball term, and the only two kit you know is followed by Kat.
Don’t sweat it amigo, we’ve got you covered. Here are seven fail-proof ways to choose a team to support in Rio:
Ancestry:
This is a classic. Remember your second-cousin, once removed who married that guy whose stepbrother’s aunt spent extended time in France. Yeah, me neither, but family is family! And they have the same colors as the United States! Parlez-vous ‘American’?
When in doubt, always take a quiz! (via BuzzFeed)
BuzzFeed:
It’s like they know more about me than I do. Everything I’ve ever wondered about myself, BuzzFeed had an answer for. (Apparently my name should be Frank and no, I “literally cannot even.”) Well sure enough, the brain-trust at over at BuzzFeed has a quiz for your World Cup dilemma.
Food:
Well I do love Belgian waffles… But more so than Swiss chocolate?
Accents:
Everyone has their favorite accent. And with live streaming from your computer, you can likely find a broadcast in whatever language, accent or dialect you desire. Follow the Spanish if you want goal scoring calls that last longer than your O-Chem lectures.
However, if you really want to increase your vocabulary, Argentina may be your best bet because of the phenomenal color commentary Lionel Messi's play delivers. Listen to Irish announcer Ray Hudson describe Messi as "magisterial," "majestical" and "immaculate." Hudson also delivers the best analogies you'll ever hear, comparing Messi to a Jedi Knight.
Vacation destination:
Have you ever wanted to snorkel in the Great Barrier Reef? The Aussies may be your squad. Or maybe you’re still reminiscing about spring break in Cabo? Mexico seems like a really legitimate option.
Where does your beer allegiance lie? (Annabelle Breakey/Getty Images)
Drinks:
To be fair, this would be a strong debate even if you only considered beer. With the brewing powerhouses like Germany, Belgium, England and the Netherlands, things could get pretty intense if you mixed up your Hoegaarden and Hefeweizen. Throw in Mexico’s lighter drafts and some American microbrewed ales and it’s anybody’s game.
Not into beer? There’s a hard-hitting rivalry between Russian vodka, Mexican tequila and Italian wine.
Flow-charts:
Still confused? Well lucky for you groups like Sports Unlimited, Inc. took the time to map it all out for you.
