(Tumblr, @valentines-card)

According to a personal source, he will be going out to eat in one of the finest restaurants in Los Angeles. Let’s not forget, since he is Justin Bieber, he will obviously be involved with one of the hottest, eligible bachelorettes in Hollywood every guy dreams of being with. She is America’s favorite prison guard. Apparently, she is known to keep reckless, irresponsible, immature and egotistical young boys in line with her tactical prison skills. Bon Qui Qui, the waitress at the restaurant, confirmed with me that Justin had ordered the Valentine special which is called the B.L.T. The B.L.T. comes with a belt, a valid license, and time.

Recently, Justin has been driving under the influence with an expired license and getting arrested by the authorities with bail.

READ MORE: Justin Bieber Arrested For DUI

“He needs to be setting an example for our children and I believe he needs to serve some time even if he is famous!” as mentioned by the waitress at the restaurant.

In addition, he needs to wear a belt because the “pants under your butt” look is so 2009. Reputable rappers, nowadays, don’t even style that look. I guess Justin has not gotten the memo. Finally, time is what he needs in order to rewind through all the thoughtless mistakes he has committed over the past two years. It started with a haircut and is currently at multiple charges of arrest with a potential consideration of being deported. However, don’t worry Beliebers that won’t be happening anytime soon.

If you are a Belieber and are looking to get noticed by the pop star, a good tune to dedicate to the singer this Valentine’s Day would be “Rehab” by Amy Winehouse. I’m sure he would retweet you if you did.

*Disclaimer: We do not actually know what Mr. Bieber's Valentine's Day plans are. We can, however, hope that a BLT will be involved.

Reach Staff Reporter Barbara Estrada here.