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Ass-Crack: Do We Need It?

Eric Parra |
January 15, 2014 | 2:52 a.m. PST

Executive Producer

First, this is a statue, not a real person. Second, it does have an ass-crack, but that doesn't mean it's perfect. (Flickr/TheGirlsNY)
First, this is a statue, not a real person. Second, it does have an ass-crack, but that doesn't mean it's perfect. (Flickr/TheGirlsNY)
Everyone has a butt. That’s undeniable. What we choose to do with our butts is of our own personal business, but the fact of the matter is that we all have one. 

What not everyone has, and excuse my French, is an ass-crack. 

Straight out of reddit (what can’t this site pull out?) a man with a gluteus maximus that has been drawn together from the left and right sides in a way that removes what we would normally look at as the butt cheeks, manages to function perfectly well at the cost of being more prone to unfortunate irritation or infections. Such a case is referred to as pilonidal cyst, which, while still uncommon, apparently helped Rush Limbaugh avoid carrying out military duty in the Vietnam War, so there are some benefits.

This kind of physical abnormality, however, only leads to many questions, scientific and personal. For instance, whether the folds of skin that form a crack are truly a necessary advancement of evolution or regression in the battle of Darwinism and Creationism or even if such a lifestyle is a cleaner way to go about one’s business. I'm sure most of us are more curious about the latter. (Don't worry, according to the redditor, even without a crack he is still capable of making a "perfect pitch" if you know what he means.)

Delving unnecessarily into the details, the human body gets to be very complex, and one abnormality only furthers that complexion to a matter on rocket science levels, but really, how beneficial is an ass-crack to the human race? Do they help prolong one’s life, detract from it, or not sway (or jiggle) in either direction? We now know that we don't need more than the bare necessity to survive, but how much better off are we with a bit of extra skin for protection and good looks? 

The man who posted his picture on Reddit claims that “"I used to be upset about the situation, but I've started to laugh about it, and I realized it's what makes me who I am. Might as well laugh about it, right?”

While we won’t post the image here ourselves, feel free to check it out (Discretion Advised) here while the original subreddit discussion can be found here.

Read more on the story here.


Reach Executive Producer Eric Parra here.



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