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Why You Shouldn't Go 'Gay For A Day'

Evan Pensis |
December 21, 2013 | 7:30 p.m. PST

Contributor

Are male nudes a tool for gay rights? (Thomas Eakins, Wikimedia Commons)
Are male nudes a tool for gay rights? (Thomas Eakins, Wikimedia Commons)
It’s kind of a universal fact that gay men fantasize about naked straight men. 

At least, that’s what England’s Warwick rowing team thinks. The recent release of their 2013 nude calendar is all about gay support, from naked solo shots to even interactive nudes that unknowingly pay homage to Thomas Eakins and his turn-of-the-century, “bro-porn” paintings and photos. 

People everywhere are showing their support for gay rights by either stripping down or interacting in displays of same-sex affection Supporters in India are #trending with photos of heterosexuals kissing each other, posing “gay” for a day to show how much they care (see below for examples on Twitter). Celebrities in Germany lock lips to help remove the stigma of homosexuality. And that seems like such a great visual message—where everyone can be anything they want without any fear of social rejection, isolation, or bodily harm. 

But it’s not. In fact, it is quite the opposite: a subtle yet reassuring sign of the silent code of heteronormativity. 

These photos, artifacts of social experimentation, don’t empower gay equality so much as they devoice it. Rather than showing a gay man’s display of affection with his partner, or a woman’s expression of sentiment to hers, or any trans-identified romantic display, we’re left with two heterosexuals emphasizing how heterosexual they are by underlining what they’re not… (Hint: homosexual). 

SEE ALSO: Stop Talking About Marriage Equality

I can’t even count how many people have verbalized their (“un-“) conditional support of gay equality with a sentence like: “I have no problems with homosexuality. It’s not for me, but I don’t think that should limit your freedom!” 

And there it is. The second phrase out of their mouth is a reminder that “I’m not gay, though,” and it’s this little nugget of oppression that is emphasized in those gay support photos. Rather than supporting same sex partnerships by celebrating same-sex forms of affection, it is only socially promulgated when the ritual is acted out by some progressive, all-accepting heterosexuals. 

Don’t get me wrong—we need heterosexuals to speak up. We need as much support as we can get if we’re going to try to make equality something we don’t just throw out there when we want to sound progressive, but we need that support to be not only well-intended, but well-informed and directed appropriately. #Trending equality shouldn’t only be a badge on your backpack, or a profile photo for a few days during the social media craze. Gay rights isn’t solely for the “cool kids.” And by allowing a campaign to ‘demonstrate support’ while blatantly reaffirming each actors’ heterosexuality, we’ve effectively fallen into the trap of propaganda. No matter how high the percentage of the proceeds donated by the Warwick Rowers to anti-homophobia organizations, they are simultaneously reinforcing homophobia through the attitudes of these albums.

SEE ALSO: Natural Means Nothing: In Defense Of Queerdom

At this point, many people might feel discouraged, as though there aren’t any forms of support that won’t be analyzed a week later as a vacuous social media movement, but that is not the message I’m trying to get across. Don’t allow me to dissuade you from supporting your non-heterosexually-identified friends, family or colleagues. There is a way to show support without ‘acting’ gay (and simultaneously coming out as straight). There are ways for sports teams to support gay rights without dropping their drawers and posing for the whole world as “homo-acceptable.”

Because the fact is that not every gay man fantasizes about naked straight men. Some same-sex lovers fantasize about finding a same-sex lover and having the freedom to express their love in whichever ways they’ve collectively decided. Some same-sex lovers see a kiss more meaningfully than just a peck on the cheek of a friend, and the process of taking that sacred rite of interpersonal bond, and acting it out with two heterosexual people—safe in their ability to drop the act, take off their costumes and be normally hetero and heteronormal at the same time—just seems monumentally misled. And only allowing these non-heterosexual fantasies to be carried out by heterosexual people… well, that just seems cruel.

Instead of the gay-for-a-day calendar or profile photo homage, I urge those who feel that their message of support might have been misguided to seek a path of support in your ability not only to speak out for equality, but to find out from your LGBTQ friends, colleagues and family members how they deal with adversity.

Chances are, they’ve dealt with much more. 

 

#GayForADay on Twitter:

 


Reach Contributor Evan Pensis here.


 

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