Mike Piazza has really let himself go. (Photo/"The Four Players")

This ain't no game.

Continuing a trend of taking video game properties and making them so gritty that it creates a black hole of bleakness wherein self-awareness cannot escape, Snow White and the Huntsman scribe Evan Daugherty has given Nintendo's beloved Super Mario Bros. franchise the dark and grim treatment it presumably always needed.

The end result is still somehow better than abysmal 1993 motion picture based on the long-standing franchise.

The four-part web series, produced by Polaris, stars someone that looks suspiciously like Mike Piazza as Mario and a Breaking Bad-inspired version of Luigi, who discovers that he has the ability to shoot fireballs after developing psychotropic drugs in his meth lab. Y'know, just like in the cartoon.

Polaris uploaded the final two installments of the series, The Four Players, earlier today and irrevocably scarred the newsroom staff. You can watch all four below if you want to ruin your childhood forever.

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