This week’s episode of "New Girl" begins with a blast from the past: Coach.  

Coach who?? Just in case you need a reminder, here's a snippet from season one of "New Girl":

Coach was the original fourth roommate before Winston came on to the show. His role in the group dynamic is immediately evident with his opening line: “You sons of bitches ready to party?!”

Great start.  Let’s go. 

As it turns out, Coach is back on the scene because of a recent split with his girlfriend. He's single and ready to mingle- and his first order of business is a trip with his boys to the strip club. On a Tuesday night? 

Casual.

Jess is immediately uncomfortable, and asks Nick not to go.  Nick is hesitant, but the peer pressure is mounting. After Coach asks if Nick is whipped, Nick responds by scoffing, saying that him and Jess aren’t even officially boyfriend and girlfriend. Brilliant.

Although its clear that Nick just wanted to look cool in front of Coach- his inability to communicate results in Jess storming out, declaring that since they hadn’t had the “seeing other people talk,” she was going out.

Aka going to a bar with Cece.

Here the typical girl-rags-on-men conversation ensues: “Nick is a boy… He’s a man-child hybrid.”

Luckily, as the best, best friend, Cece has a brilliant solution to get even: make Nick jealous. 

(Spoiler alert: this one always works.)

Meanwhile, at the strip club, Nick and Schmidt reveal that they aren’t as into boy’s night as they pretended to be. Schmidt has work, Nick wants to see Jess, and Winston has accidently withdraw $2,000 in "bunny money," only redeemable at the bar and the strip club's gift shop... Coach wants to stay until the sun rises, but Nick and Schmidt try to plot an escape route behind his back. After all attempts to dissuade Coach prove unsuccessful, the boys decide to challenge him to a shot contest in hopes that Coach will get too drunk and they can take him home.  

This, of course, results in a drunken stupor for all the men involved.  

Back at the bar, Jess and Cece are making their own moves. While Jess is in the bathroom, Cece calls in a cute man named Arty who had hit on Jess weeks before. Although Jess is hesitant- this turns into a long night of drinking with Arty while he tells the girls about his coffee shop and his trips to Brazil.

After a drunken phone call gone awry between Nick and Jess, Jess decides that it’s about time to bring Arty home with her. 

Nick, on the other hand, has come to a completely different conclusion and realizes that he needs to go home to Jess. He delivers an emotional, slurred speech about how amazing Jess is, and Coach breaks into tears, admiting that his girlfriend broke up with him and is dating another man.

When there are tears in the strip club- it's time to go home.

At this point, the only one who is upset in Winston, who needs to eat a lobster dinner that he just purchased with all of his "bunny money."

The Boys are Back in Town (FOX)

After buying full outfits from the strip club gift shop and jumping in a cab, the boys realize that they aren’t heading to the apartment, but to the police station.  This is apparently where Coach's ex-girlfriend’s new man works.  Coach wants to beat him up.

It’s then that Winston delivers a winning line: “I have a joke- two white men and two black men walk into a police station, and two white men walk out.”

Jokes on jokes- but actually, who decides to drunkenly fight the cops?  

Once Cece and Jess return to the apartment, Cece reminds Jess about how much she cares for Nick. Jess realizes that it’s time to send Arty home, but not before he manages to undress himself and lay down in her bed.

Back at the police station, a drunken squabble between the boys in the back of their cab turns into an actual fight outside of the station. Schmidt reveals how unhappy he is in his new apartment, and Coach turns to face his romantic nemesis, the new boyfriend/policeman. Thankfully before making any rash moves, he has a moment of clarity, and tells the him to be good to his girl.  

The boys retreat, but not before antagonizing the cop a little bit, just for good measure. 

When they finally return to the apartment, Nick walks in on Jess trying to convince a naked, and persisent, Arty to get out of her bed. In response, Nick calmly forgives Jess and then punches Arty unconscious for trying to sleep with his girlfriend.  

After placing Arty in the elevator covered by a mere sheet, Jess jumps atop Nick saying, “Hey, you called me your girlfriend!” Passionate kissing ensues.  

Romance wins in another episode of New Girl!

Til next week!

Reach Staff Reporter Kendall Robertson here.