The 43rd President of the United States, George W. Bush, is speaking Tuesday night at USC in a highly-anticipated and tightly-controlled event.  

Since most of us can't get tickets to tonight's event and since we're prohibited from taping it in all its glory, we decided instead to compile the "7 Awkward Moments From His Presidency."

This is certainly not the definitive list of awkward Bush moments, so feel free to share your favorites below.

Here's our list:

7. That Time He Had That Crotch Bulge On The Aircraft Carrier

Imagine you're the leader of the free world. The U.S. military just dominated the Iraqi military, you're on top of the world, and you want everybody to know.

So your people come up with the awesome idea for you to fly a fighter jet, land it on an aircraft carrier off the coast of San Diego, CA, and give a speech to the troops and media with an awesome (yet, completely false) banner.  

Boom. You land the damn thing like a champ, exit the jet, and strut your stuff. And then this happens.

Awkward. Bulge. 

6. That Time He Interacted With A Turkey

Birdman.

5. That Time He Couldn't Find The Door

We've all been there. You give a big speech in Beijing, China, finish it with a chuckle, and try to get out of the room before things get awkward.  You go for the door.

Nothing. Another door? Nope.

WHAT DO YOU DO?

4. That Time He Wore Matching Outfits With Vladimir Putin

 

 

 

 

 

Note to George: If your pal Vlad asks you to wear a matching kimono thing, say NO.

3. That Time He Had Shoes Thrown At His Head

You get a shoe! You get a shoe! EVERYBODY'S GETTING SHOES!

2. That Time He Wasn't Amused By Stephen Colbert

Bush wasn't amused during Stephen Colbert's speech during the 2006 White House Correspondents' Dinner, and luckily ABC News had a camera trained on the president's face during the entire thing. 

Pure gold.

1. That Time He Creeped Out The German Chancellor

Angela's your buddy, right? You call her Steve Merkel. Get it? Like Urkel, but Merkel. Nicknames.

Friends as close as George and Angela love to give each other massages. Err. Maybe not.

Reach Executive Producer Colin Hale here. Follow him on Twitter.