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'Chinese Food': The Next 'Friday?'

Dale Chong |
October 15, 2013 | 11:18 a.m. PDT

Staff Reporter

Alison Gold loves her chicken wings spicy. (Tumblr)
Alison Gold loves her chicken wings spicy. (Tumblr)
For the man who gave us Rebecca Black's "Friday," one terrible song is just not enough. Instead of listing off the days of the week, he now brings us "Chinese Food." 

Ark Music Factory co-founder Patrice Wilson has been known for getting hopeful tween singers discovered. This time, he has well-intentioned Alison Gold singing about her love of-you guessed it-Chinese food. 

The lyrics are terrible on their own; Gold sings, "I love Chinese food. You know that it's true. I love fried rice, I love noodles, I love chow mien, chow m-m-m-mein." 

But wait, there's more. The song quickly lists off stereotypical dishes, and the video is no longer one of Wilson's typically auto-tuned tween pop songs, but it becomes something rather offensive and racist. 

From Wilson dressed in a panda suit and rapping about more food with an Asian accent to subtitles to the song in various languages to the young girls dressed in full geisha attire (mind you, geishas are Japanese, not Chinese), we just have to ask ourselves, "What is going on?" The video also begins with a man frying noodles and speaking Chinese, as well as highlighting the "power" of fortune cookies.

Not only is the music video offensive, but it's just plain weird. Wilson's panda suit makes his entire role in the video creepy, given he is surrounded by pre-teen girls. Along with that, there is an extensive use of rainbows and sparkles: the perfect special effects for pre-teen Gold, perhaps?

Sure, Alison Gold may love Chinese food as much as the next girl, but there really is no need to write a song about how it sends her into a frenzy. It is certainly not necessary to create a terrible music video about it. However, this may be the best worst music video the world has seen since Rebecca Black's "Friday." 

Released just yesterday, "Chinese Food" is already going viral with comments flying.

"Major plot twist with the panda," one YouTube commenter says. 

The music video ends saying, "Fortune cookies are never wrong," but the video is everything but right.

Reach Staff Reporter Dale Chong here. Follow her on Twitter here.



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