Nanananana.... Jess, Winston and Nick!! Wait, that's not right. (FOX)

"New Girl" is back again with Episode 6 of the third season: “Keaton.”

We begin at a secret meeting that Jess has called to order in a nearby empty loft in their apartment building. Nick asks why they would have the meeting in the loft, considering its Halloween and the place is definitely haunted by the woman who died there.

Jess pushes his worries aside, addressing the more immediate problem: Schmidt.

Apparently Schmidt has been a bit of a lost soul lately- skipping work, sitting on the couch and eating cold cuts all day. Jess wants their old friend back, but perhaps more importantly, she is throwing a Halloween party and can’t have Schmidt sitting on the couch and “wiping his eyes with deli meats.” We then jump to Schmidt on the couch, complaining about Obama and taking straight shots of mayo.

Her concerns are justified. 

Schmidt’s downward spiral doesn’t stop there. It continues as he smashes a pumpkin that Winston was carving, and tells Jess that he’s coming to her party even if she doesn’t want him there. 

Winston realizes that something needs to be done, and asks Nick to write a letter from an “old friend.”  As it turns out, when Schmidt was young and upset about his parent’s divorce, his mother wrote to him pretending to be Michael Keaton (the star of the old "Batman" movies).  Throughout his life, Schmidt wrote to Michael whenever he had any sort of problem, and “Michael Keaton” always wrote back.  In his mind, Keaton was Schmidt’s father figure and best friend. 

When life got hard again for Schmidt in college, Nick turned to the Michel Keaton device to get him out of his slump.  Even though Nick is fully aware that he could use Keaton again, he refuses because he knows that the letters are too powerful- and that Schmidt will do whatever Keaton says. 

We watch as Jess opens up Nick’s computer when he leaves the room - and we know that she is about to take matters into her own hands. This fact is confirmed when Jess then goes to see Cece and promises her that Schmidt won’t be at her party that night.

Returning to the apartment, Schmidt is clearly in a better mood because he has been emailing his “old friend.”  (He doesn’t like to throw the name around, he says, but it’s Michael Keaton.) Jess acts surprised, but as soon as Schmidt leaves the room, Winston and Nick pounce on her.

“Keaton” hasn’t written to Schmidt in years- and Nick is concerned that if Schmidt figures out what’s going on- they’re going to have a "Truman’s Show" situation on their hands (you know, when Truman figures out that his whole life has been a lie?). Eek. Anyways, Jess tries to fix the situation by sending an email in which Keaton says he’s going on vacation, and it immediately sends Schmidt back into his slump. 

After watching Schmidt take a sorry bite out of a block of cheese, Nick decides to do something drastic. He puts on a Batman mask and proceeds to text Schmidt messages from Keaton from the empty loft down the hall. Everything appears to be going smoothly, until Schmidt hears the sound of Nick’s phone receiving Schmidt’s responses down the hall...

Busted. 

Instead of immediately revealing his friends for their betrayal- Schmidt proceeds to attend Jess’ Halloween party as a “public serpent” (ha-ha). Jess, Nick and Winston retreat to their “bat cave” to send Schmidt more messages from Keaton, but Schmidt is close behind and listening in. 

After being startled by a knock on the door, Jess sees a young trick-or-treater in a Batman costume and takes it.  Despite her determination, Nick doubts her ability to trick Schmidt into thinking that she’s Michael Keaton; her size and voice being two primary concerns. A little tipsy, she tears up as she says, “It’s Halloween, this is the night that anyone can dress up and be anybody they want.”

Schmidt then runs outside under the pretense of “looking for someone famous,” and Jess poses as Batman in the distance.  “Well it’s my hero! There is Michael Keaton,” says Schmidt. He then asks why Keaton is wearing his costume from a "Batman" movie that he did 20 years ago. Schmidt demands to meet him- and Jess can’t manage to escape in her intoxicated state.  It’s then that Schmidt admits that he knows the truth: “What, do you think I’m stupid?”

“How dare you hack into the private email account of one our nation’s finest actors?  I’m going to have to tell Michael about this," Schmidt states. Wow.

It’s then that Nick confesses: it was me the whole time. He tells Schmidt that his mother came up with this idea, and that he’s been using it since college. Schmidt is destroyed and attempts to take off running, but not before taking a beating from some trick-or-treaters that he runs in to.    

Afterwards, Nick and Schmidt rehash all of the advice that Keaton’s had ever given Schmidt, from getting over heartbreak to not wearing maternity clothing. In the end, Schmidt forgives him, but this sentimental moment is immediately contradicted when Schmidt declares that he’s leaving the next morning. As it turns out, he’s only moving down the hall to the empty loft. Way to make a statement. 

Tune in next week for another episode of "New Girl!" & just in case you have't watched the latest episode and would like a sneak peak:

Reach Staff Reporter Kendall Robertson here.