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Awkwardly Depressing But Slightly Flattering: Experiments In Online Dating, Week 5

An Anonymous USC Student |
October 10, 2013 | 12:11 a.m. PDT

Columnist

There comes a moment during every date where things go from kind of awkward to REALLY awkward. This moment is called paying the bill. In the past I have always been the girl to insist on splitting the bill or worse, paying for the whole thing. I never want people to think that I am taking advantage of them or that I am the needy, clingy girl who needs a man to buy her things. That is not my character. However, my tiptoeing over their finances has lead to several cases of blurred lines. 

I let one dating situation spiral for about two or three months. I never let this kid pay for ANYTHING…well actually he just never turned down my instantaneous reach for my wallet. But where did that thoughtful behavior leave me? Now, when I find myself trying to explain what my relationship with him was, I am forced into this strange phrasing that goes a little bit like: "this guy I kind of sort of dated for a couple of months, who I worked with but it didn't really turn into much and fizzled out…I don't really know what we were." Over a year later, I am still baffled over what that was. 

So when I set out to start "dating around" I set to stand my ground and make my dates work for me. In my newfound sense of confidence I have sat back and looked the other direction while my date fumbles for his wallet. This is my way of showing him that I am worth it. He is paying for my company and this is a good deal no matter how expensive the restaurant or bar is. But apparently this is rude behavior. 

I was sharing my most recent dating escapade with my sister and she burst out laughing when I told her my refusal to offer to pay. I guess I have broken rule number one in online dating etiquette. Apparently match.com or some other dating site, if not all of them, have tips for their users. Apparently online daters are not always the most graceful dating companions, so a nice, clean-cut set of guidelines has been created. I cannot decide if I am offended or grateful for this. 

I always thought those cliché movies where 40 somethings re-entered the dating world and were given the advice from their married friend that, "men don't pay for dinner anymore…times have changed," were exaggerations. Maybe I should have taken this advice from "Full House" and Sleepless in Seattle a little more seriously. 

But then, when I really think about it…I have to deal with cramps and I might have to destroy my body carrying this guy's child someday. He can buy me a damn drink. 



 

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