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'New Girl' Season 3 Premiere Recap

Kendall Robertson |
September 18, 2013 | 12:47 a.m. PDT

Staff Reporter



With the abrupt end of Season 2, with Cece’s almost-marriage and Nick and Jess’ almost-breakup, we are finally back in business with Season 3 of "New Girl."

Luckily, the show picked up right where it left off. After declaring that they were both “All In,” (the fitting title of this very episode) Jess and Nick park their car for a steamy moment before returning to their loft and their boys, Schmidt and Winston.

Having been anxiously awaiting their friends’ return since the end of the wedding, Winston and Schmidt pounce of the couple before they’ve even walked in the door. The two are hopelessly lost without their housemate counterparts. Winston is toying with the idea of starting a new puzzle, while Schmidt is furiously debating whether he should choose Cece or Elizabeth. Nick and Jess, unnerved by this abrupt collision with reality, decide to make a run for it. 

Days go by. Schmidt, unable to reach Nick or Jess, decides to choose Elizabeth. His reasoning is shaky: “I was dating her first.” His resolve is proven to be even weaker when, upon his attempt to end things with Cece, he ends up choosing her.  

Things could have been easy for Schmidt from then on out: choose Cece, breakup with Elizabeth. But Schmidt, unable to see Elizabeth upset, can’t muster up the courage to breakup with her either. 

Looks like someone is going to be putting some serious cash in the Douchebag Jar (#season1throwback).

We then return to Nick and Jess, who have found their way to Mexico. Living happily on the beach out of the back of Nick’s car, the love-struck couple soon realizes that they are out of resources. Nick suggests they wander over to a nearby resort instead of heading home.  

But because Nick and Jess have no money, they can’t buy passes for the resort’s beach...  No matter. Nick manages to get one from a small child by threatening to strangle him, but is not able to get another before beach security spots him. Running as fast as his bartender’s build will allow, Nick makes it to the beach and splashes around, declaring himself to be in “international waters.”  

It is only a matter of (very short) time before he is taken in by the guards.

Jess, frantic because Nick is being taken to jail, returns to the apartment in search of Winston and Schmidt. She tells them that she needs their help, and money, to get Nick out.

After attempting to bribe all of the hotel employees for money, Jess, Winston and Schmidt finally find Nick in “hotel jail,” safe and sound. Nick, in a moment of panic, tells Jess that he wants to stay in Mexico with her and never go back. He is afraid that their relationship just won’t work back at the apartment.

Jess then delivers her winning lines of the episode. She tells Nick that they are all a family, and that without Winston and Schmidt, “there is no us.” A heartwarming group hug ensues, during which Nick’s passports falls through the paper shredder.

Winston, in prime puzzle-piecing form, puts the passport (almost) perfectly together.  

The four return to their apartment. Nick and Jess have an awkward, but amazing make out session in front of the door. Winston returns to his puzzle. And poor ol’ Schmidt is still stuck between two ladies.

It feels good to be back. 

Reach Staff Reporter Kendall Robertson here.



Craig Gillespie directed this true story about "the most daring rescue mission in the history of the U.S. Coast Guard.”

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