After an eventful start to the season last week, one could only wonder where "New Girl" was going to go with its second episode. Though some felt as though last week’s writing was lacking, this week restored our faith. 

The episode opens up with a quick look at all current "New Girl" love stories:

Schmidt is hanging out with Cici while Elizabeth is calling… A week off-air and he still hasn’t figured it out- tisk tisk. 

Winston announces that he is going over to Daisy’s to impress her by taking care of her cat, Ferguson (something Schmidt is not excited about because apparently cats have a weird obsession with his nipples).

Finally, Nick and Jess, the ever-adorable couple, are having a cute moment in the bathroom where Jess reveals that she’s stressing about work because she hasn’t made any friends.

After we’ve caught up on love lives of our favorite four roommates, we flash to the elevator where Winston tells the boys of his plan to ask Daisy to be his girlfriend. He plans to tell her how he really feels: “Listen, my heart is a two-man bike, and I want you on my rear.”

Winston for the win.

In an attempt to help Jess make friends with the cliquey teachers at her school, Nick bribes them with school supplies and free drinks at his bar later. The other teachers agree to his proposition, and Jess, excited and proud of Nick, exclaims: “That’s an amazing move, sex partner!”

Zooey Deschanel’s ability to make what could have been THE MOST awkward line quirky and cute truly amazes me.  

Meanwhile, Schmidt is still struggling in his love triangle. Elizabeth shows up at work to give Schmidt a plant for his new office, and his arch-nemesis/coworker gets her invited to the office party that Schmidt had already asked Cici to attend. 

Conniving- and I kind of like it.  

Schmidt then has to tell Cici not to come “because significant others are not allowed.” She buys it, and Schmidt thinks he is safe. 

We move to Winston who has shown up at Daisy’s to retrieve her cat. Daisy clearly has another man in the apartment, but Winston takes the cat anyways, unsure of what to do.  

Back at Nick’s bar that night, Jess is struggling to connect with her new friends. Nick recognizes what is going on: it’s like Jess is the nerd trying to make friends with the cool kids in high school. He tells her then and there that she needs to go with the flow, make fun of her boss, and drink… a lot. Jess scoffs, certainly that can’t be true. Then Nick says “It’s the only thing I know to be true.”

Cue awesome high school flash back: We jump immediately to Jess on the bar, wasted, delivering amazing lines like: “Sometimes firemen are women.”

Words to live by. 

Though the night ended with Jess dancing in a toilet bowl, she looks even worse than we could have imagined in the morning. The boys, ever supportive, sing a glorious rendition of “I Believe I Can Fly” in order to get Jess out of bed and on to work. Schmidt then chastises Nick for encouraging Jess to drink to be cool, “What are you?  A 14-year-old hockey player?”

When Jess gets to school, she finds that the cool teachers have accepted her as part of their crew.  They give her access to their assorted mug collection, claiming that she will never have to drink out of a plastic cup again.  

Perks.   

Back at the apartment, Winston is pondering exactly how he should kill Daisy’s cat. Though Nick had suggested that Winston merely breakup with Daisy, Winston has decided: an eye for an eye, a cat for a cat. (His cat being his heart, her cat being Ferguson.)

Jess rushes into the apartment with grand plans to break into her boss’ house and go in his new jacuzzi. Nick warns her against it- but Jess is convinced that she has to go along with the other teachers to be cool. "You wouldn’t have noticed me in high school," she tells Nick. He responds, "I wouldn’t have noticed you because I didn’t go to class!" Jess storms out of the apartment. 

That night at Schmidt’s office party, both Elizabeth and Cici show up, which we could have seen coming from a mile away, but it’s still fun to watch. 

Schmidt somehow manages to convince Elizabeth that Cici is catering the party, and also convinces Cici that Elizabeth works at his office. The girls part ways, none the wiser that Schmidt is dating them both… We are left wondering how in the world he pulled that one off.   

During the office party, Jess has managed to get herself trapped in her boss’ backyard. Nick comes to the rescue, saying that he will be by her side and do stupid stuff with her.

Then Jess’ boss emerges from his home, and the couple accompanies him into his jacuzzi to the tune of the "Dawson’s Creek" theme song: "I don’t wanna wait, for our lives to be over."

Awesome.

At the end of the episode, Daisy comes to pick up her cat and Winston breaks up with her, simultaneously ending their relationship and taking Ferguson for keeps. 

Schmidt’s coworker/arch-nemesis congratulates him- both women really do love him and trust him.  The look on Schmidt's face tells us he doesn't feel like a winner. 

Jess, with the choice between taking liquid ecstasy (casual) with her new “friends” or hanging out with Nick, chooses Nick. Outside of the school, Nick says that he would have noticed Jess in high school. They kiss.  

The episode ends.

But not before we flash quickly to Ferguson the cat, licking the nipples of Schmidt passed out on the couch.

And to all a good night!

Reach Kendall Robertson here.