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13 Things That Can Go Wrong On Friday The 13th: USC Edition

Judy Lee |
September 13, 2013 | 6:50 p.m. PDT

Contributor

Cheer up. Your Friday the 13th could have gone like this. (@Doug88888, Creative Commons)
Cheer up. Your Friday the 13th could have gone like this. (@Doug88888, Creative Commons)

So you're not superstitious, but after losing your keys, dropping your phone and forgetting where your 8AM class is, you're starting to buy into this whole Friday the 13th thing. But if things haven't been going your way today, check out these 13 things that could have gone horribly wrong instead. Turns out it's not always sunny in Southern California...

1. You wake up just in time to throw on some clothes and get to class in a record four minutes

...Aaaaand the attendance sheet has already been passed to the row behind you.

2. You started off the day with three nice cups of coffee. Your brain thanks you

…but your bladder doesn’t. Your voice has broken at least four times in your latest conversation and you’re ten seconds away from doing the potty dance when your professor announces that there is a quiz.

3. Your printer breaks

…and your essay is due in class today. You didn’t think of preparing your portfolio ahead of time because you were busy dressing up like Lilo and Stitch for the Hawaiian themed party on The Row last night. And your Annenberg friends won’t help out “Greg the Grey Goose Guzzler.” Who’s Greg?

4. DPS impounds your longboard

Aw hell no. DPS isn’t going to have it today. Your longboard with the stripes and palm trees and the “I Heart LA” on it? It’s breaking the 8 AM - 4 PM rules so you can expect to walk and dodge bicycles over the weekend.

5. The long-ass keychain dangling around your neck gets caught on a branch on the way to class

Your keys scatter everywhere and the people heading towards you suppress a smirk as they rush to class. The 5-person group of international students nearby does not approve of your existence.

6. You swallow a cough drop

…and it induces a coughing fit. During lecture. Luckily, the cute guy next to you shoots you a look of pity. Naturally, you open your mouth to produce… word vomit? No. Actual vomit? Yes.

7. You call your work supervisor “Mom”

All you get in response is an uncomfortable chuckle and a smile that reassures you that she will never, ever forget this.

8. You finish the last of your Kraft Mac-n-Cheese

…and your parents are on vacation. And you don’t want to get out of bed. And your life is basically over.

9. EVK food is… EVK food.

Yup. Time to head down to the food court for some better-tasting MSG.

10. Squirrels eat your Panda Express (and possibly your eyebrows)

The USC squirrels are already notorious for their feisty attitudes and tendencies to become overnight Facebook sensations, but Darla may have other plans besides collecting tree nuts today.

11. After a difficult day, you decide to take a well-deserved nap

...in Leavey. Without your laptop secured. Freddy Kruger also makes a brief cameo, but more importantly: Mac-lemore is gone.

12. You wake up, laptop-less, and realize that you’ve been wasting your life away at university when your life aspiration has always been to dance in Broadway’s “Cats”. You’ve had the feline spirit and pizzazz inside you but somewhere along the line, it translated to “Anthropology degree”. But it’s your senior year and you’re so close to being done anyway and your parents are paying for this so you might as well continue on and adopt a cat as consolation.

Darla the MacCarthy Squirrel despises felines. Can you say, “bubonic plague”?

13. It’s time to ditch this dumb day and dance till the sun rises. You grab dinner at this Thai place down Figueroa and party it up at the Row tonight.

E. Coli.

 

Reach Contributor Judy Lee here.



 

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