We've come to yet another season finale on "True Blood" friends, and everything is all turned upside down. Some crazy shit has happened, but first let's finish off the sixth season before moving on to the setup for seven. Like I said last week, Sookie still has a Warlow problem to deal with even though the vamps were set free, so let's get to it!

Now that Alcide is actually likable again, we've got him making manly swoony eyes at Sookie after Terry's funeral. He accompanies her on a walk and hits on her hardcore (can I also point out this dude wore jeans to a funeral? Ballsy) until he smells something weird in the distance. They're coming up on Bill's house, and they watch as all the super high vamp prisoners shed their clothes and start having orgies reminiscent of Mary Ann's shenanigans in season 2. Even Jason seems happy, carrying Violet on his shoulders. The best is when the vamps decide they need to run to Target for some sports equipment. It looks like they did an American Eagle run too based on their summer wear. 

Sookie tells Alcide he should probably get lost, and goes to meet Violet and Jason. Violet attempts to make out with Sookie after learning they're "family" and Sookie is all weirded out when Jason explains he felt cared for like she did with Bill back in the day. True, Violet is becoming a more interesting character, but I still don't think I trust her yet and neither does Sookie. 

Bill watches Sookie through the window of his mansion and looks generally heartbroken. Either that or still woozy from all the blood that was drained out of him. Sookie returns to Warlow and decides maybe they're rushing things too fast. Besides, all the vamps are fine now. She asks Warlow if he'll just be one of her many male callers for now and well, he gets piiiissed. We finally see this dude's true colors since putting Niall in the portal, and he ties Sookie up and starts choking her. Ugh. 

At the mansion, Pam has lost her buzz and Tara can tell. Pam says she's going to find Eric, and she's not afraid to release Tara if she has a problem with it. Tara is grumpy in her straw sun hat and Pam flies away.

Jess checks on Daddy Bill inside, and learns all about how he had to trade Sookie's human life to spare all of them. Jess provides the "go to her" pick me up speech we've seen in every movie, but is interrupted by Jason and Violet. Jason is not having this whole Sookie-marrying-Warlow-and-dying thing, and Bill tells him that Adilyn is the only fae around who can get them all into the portal to save Sookie. 

While Bill glamors Takahashi in the woods and sets him free with a bag full of dough, Jason convinces Adilyn and Andy to help them save his sister. Meanwhile, Warlow is being a big douche to Sookie and ties her hands up so she can't throw away her faerie light ball. Turns out Warlow just wants a wife around he can dominate and use for her blood. He's gross. I hate him. 

Adilyn manages to transport them all just in time, and Sookie is rescued! Except Bill gets the crap beat out of him. Aw guys, Bill is doing good things and not being annoying! Praise Lilith!

Violet heals Sookie with her blood just as Warlow shows up and faerie blasts everyone and locks them downstairs. He finds Sookie in the bathroom, opens up the portal, and bam! Niall from the great beyond returns to grab Warlow as Jason runs in and stakes him! Haaaah! That was quick. Sookie and Jason pull their faerie grandpa out of the portal and everyone is golden. 

Except Eric, that is. When Warlow dies, his blood dies inside every vampire who drank it as well, and Eric happened to be sunbathing in the middle of the Swedish alps. Totally nekkid, might I add. He gets set on fire and yells noooooo! and everyone yells nooooo! with him. Is he dead? I dunno. It's six months later now, so let's find out!

What we do know is that everything is topsy turvy in Bon Temps. Bill wrote a tell-all book about becoming Lilith and killing the Governor. Now he's on TV. Sookie and a hair-cut version of Alcide are together, big surprise. Jason has built Violet an awesome giant bed in his house and still isn't getting any from her. 

Everyone is super into church now, I guess. Sookie wears a hilariously awkward hat. Everyone gets their finger pricked to test for Hep V, and suited up Sam, the new mayor of Bon Temps (…..) tells the humans that if they're not a carrier, they should pick a healthy vamp to protect them in exchange for rations of their blood. Apparently Hep V has so widely spread that packs of vamps are roaming around and killing humans more than ever before. 

Arlene, now the owner of "Bellefleur's Bar and Grill," hosts a social that night for humans to meet such vamps. Jess watches as James the hipster vampire sings in a band. Tara's mom wants to talk to her and pulls her away from Willa, who gives me a vibe that she and Tara are shacking up ever since Pam left… 

Tara's mom finally realizes exactly how terrible of a parent she was to her daughter. Now, she's in a position to help. She wants to "feed Tara." This was slightly awkward but an understandable scene I guess, and Tara brings it in to drink from her mom. 

Jess shows up at Andy's house and says she's going to protect his family whether he wants her to or not. She doesn't expect blood in return. She's just super sorry. Oh, Jess. 

And last but not least, Bill makes an appearance as Sookie and Alcide are leaving the social. He tells Sookie he wants to protect her again, and Alcide is not about it. Before they all can reach a decision, a group of infected vamps show up looking mighty hungry.

No Eric or Pam. Not nearly enough Lafayette. What's he up to? 

I'm not sure how this whole Mayor Sam living the domestic life with pregnant Nicole is gonna go, or even Sookie with Alcide, but I've got another year to officially not care until this show somehow always warms its way back into my heart. 

Until next summer, truebies. May Eric's penis be with you. 

Reach Staff Reporter Becca Grumet here. Follow her on Twitter here.