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'True Blood' Season 6 Recap: Don't You Feel Me

Becca Grumet |
July 22, 2013 | 10:48 a.m. PDT

Staff Reporter

Well, this week's episode was certainly action (emphasis on the all kinds of action) packed. Down at the river, we start off with Bill letting Warlow out of his cage to save Sookie from a possessed Lafayette/Sookie's Dad. Warlow blasts Dad with some faerie light, making him leave Lala's bod just in time to get banished from Sookie's life forever. The girl is not havin' it. 

Made 4 each other. (axphyxiate/Tumblr)
Made 4 each other. (axphyxiate/Tumblr)

Back to the Hunger Games  vampire face-off between Eric and Pam (who can also fly?!). Just as the Governor, Sarah Newlin and co. think they'll actually fight, our fav vampires kill the armed guards inside the arena instead. Eric breaks a hole in the glass of the two way mirror, and verifies Steve Newlin as an accomplace to their little performance. "I see you, Steve Newlin," Eric says, and Steve shits his pants.

Lala's confused - Warlow is a what? He's a faerie vampire that can come out in the daytime? Yeah, we know Lala, it's crazy stupid. Bill calls back Warlow which is super painful, and Sookie decides she really likes Warlow now and brings him to a shiny blurrier faerie realm to hide. Bill is all "Noooo!" when Warlow doesn't show, and even more pissed to find that Jessica has disappeared from the house. Takahashi drains all Bill's blood, putting him into a coma so that he can talk to Lilith for guidance. 

Jason turns out to be the perfect candidate for the LAVTF. The recruiter asks him of his basic knowledge of vampire characteristics, to which Jason replies, "All of 'em." He rattles off the different ways to kill vamps, my personal fav being "beheadingism." 

Nicole yells at Sam that maybe he shouldn't be Emma's dad. Uh, no offense Nicole, but Sam Merlotte is awesome. And yeah maybe he's destined for greater storylines, but shush. 

Warlow is upfront with Sookie: "Girl, you gotta tie me to a tree so I don't eat you." Or something like that. Even though it's always shiny in faerie land, he can feel nightfall, and hasn't eaten anything today. But they can still talk, even though his fangs are poppin' out and craving some Sookie-blood.

Alcide finds his Dad at the motel, who shares his intel on Merlotte and friends in room 117. The wolves barge in, but they're already gone. Dad seems to want Alcide to do the right thing and leave Emma alone, but still insists on going with his son to find them. 

Number Four Bellefleur wakes up and decides she's sick of being called Number Four. Andy names her Adilyn, after his first grade crush, but Adilyn wants four names, so she can remember her dead sisters. Adilyn Braelyn Charlaine Danika it is. 

Lala wins the Emmy for everything. (axphyxiate/Tumblr)
Lala wins the Emmy for everything. (axphyxiate/Tumblr)

Lala is getting his glue gun on when Terry knocks on the door with the key to his safety deposit box. He's very cryptic and weird, as we've come to know Terry this season, and Lala hesitantly accepts the key. Lala immediately calls Arlene, who tells Holly, who suggests they just get a vampire to glamor Terry into forgetting about his troubles! It's perfect! Eh, not quite. 

Warlow gives Sookie a history lesson on how long he's been waiting to turn her into his faerie vampire bride. It's cool, he'll tear up the contract, he says. Plus, he totally killed Lilith. He's a good vampire! Like we haven't heard that one before. They'll go everywhere together, feed on each other, love each other, etc etc. "But I'd be a vampire," Sookie says. Oh, yeah. Right. 

The Governor finds out from Steve Newlin that Nora is Eric's sister, and decides to inject her with the new "hepatitis V" right in front of Eric's face. They speak to each other in Swedish and it's kind of super sad. I wasn't sure I actually liked Nora until now.  

Lilith is no help to Bill, and Bill has no problem defying Lilith and calling her a f*ck-up. She tells him to never come to her seeking answers again. 

Sam takes Nicole's advice to heart and gives Emma to Martha, her grandmother, under the condition that they avoid the pack. Sam wouldn't have been a good dad anyway, he'd just let Emma eat funyons all the time. Alcide shows up later and decides to not kill Sam and Nicole, which I guess is nice of him, except they can't go anywhere near Shreveport or Bon Temps. Sam reminds him of what we've all been thinking – Alcide used to be a nice dude, and now he's an asshole packmaster. Dad shows up and tells Alcide he's proud of him. Alcide is all "whatever" and we all roll our eyes. 

Holly's vampire friend Matt shows up to glamor Terry into forgetting he was ever even a Marine. He's just a good dad, husband, and cook. And oops, now he forgot that he hired his war buddy Justin to surprise sniper him in the head. Which, after a carefree happy day at work is exactly what happens. And while I'm happy to see the chapter of the ifrit closed forever (please, seriously) on this show, it is a little sad to see good ol' Terry Bellefleur go. 

Jason vs. Sarah, let the games begin. (blondiepoison/Tumblr)
Jason vs. Sarah, let the games begin. (blondiepoison/Tumblr)

Jason is telling the story of infiltrating The Authority last season to the LAVTF when Sarah Newlin shows up. "I know who she is," Jason says. "From the TV." Sarah asks for some privacy, and the two show their true colors. Jason says if she tries to expose him as trying to save Jessica, he'll expose their sexy times from last episode to the Governor. Well played, Jason. 

Willa asks Daddy Governor to be put with her own kind, not solitary. The Governor says maybe one day they'll do enough research to "cure her." Willa doesn't care, she just wants to play Connect Four with her friend Tara in the cool room. 

Bill wakes up from his pointless coma just in time to see a newscast that the state of Louisiana has partnered with Tru Blood to get it back on the shelves. Bill freaks out, drinks Warlow's blood, and takes a sunny walk over to the Governor's place. Unfortunately he doesn't immediately catch on fire this time. 

And while Terry's death was sad, somehow the show pulls at our heartstrings even more with a scene where Sarah cruelly sets up a "copulation study" for Jason to watch. The vampire subjects? Oh, just Jessica and a rando vampire named James. "I'm a vampire, not a rapist," James declares to the two-way mirror, and the scientists blast him with UV light. Jessica agrees to let him, but James is not down to hurt her, and Sarah finally shuts the whole thing down. Thank god. 

Billith rules the world. (jesseeroyal/Tumblr)
Billith rules the world. (jesseeroyal/Tumblr)

The Governor sits in his garden and looks to the bible for some inspiration just as indestructible Bill shows up to kill all the guards and rip the Governor's head off. Um, yeah. That happened. And this is the first time I've cheered for Billith all season. 

Eric pleads for Nora to fight the virus inside of her, at least as long as he can summon Willa. He does, and Willa rips out a guard's anti-glamor contacts and glamors him into releasing her maker and Nora. They take their uniforms and are disguised enough to make their way to the Tru Blood bottling operation, where Eric finds they've been injecting the hepatitis V into every single bottle. Well, that's not good. 

Sookie tells Warlow she's a "danger whore" and maybe that's okay. She doesn't want to ignore her feelings for him anymore, so much that they're gonna snack on each other's blood and get nekkid right then and there (yes, with him still tied to a tree). Romantic music swells as Sookie gets her Warlow on and faerie light emits from their bods. 

And yet, I still have a question over here: where the heck is Pam?! Seriously?

Catch a sneak peak of next week's episode here

Reach staff reporter Becca Grumet here. Follow her on Twitter here



 

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