Last week on "Pretty Little Liars," we fAnatics found out Melissa is actually trying to protect the Liars(?), Jake and Aria aren't doing too well, and Toby learned a very troubling "blonde girl" was around his mom a lot at Radley. Let's jump straight into this week's events!

We open episode 5 with a widely relatable teenage worry: college. With Emily no longer likely to secure the other coveted Stanford scholarship and Spencer rejected from UPenn, the two turn to Cicero College (or "Podunk" college, according to the ever-so-endearing Spencer). They go to the school on a campus visit day, equipped with their personal college admissions guidance counselor (or "Ivy League pimp," also according to Spencer). But let's backtrack a little bit...

Hanna isn't doing too well. First she has a nightmare about waking up to a scream and blood on her pillow, then she has another one about seeing her mom in prison gear... Nightmare-ception? To make matters worse, her friends are too caught up in their own lives to console her. Cough, Spencer, cough. 

Melissa, the other Hastings sister, is cozying up in London for her internship. Does this mean the Liars need a new protector? Only time will tell.

The girls previously found out that Cicero College is in the same area code as the phone number Tippy the bird insisted on singing. Spencer is making it her mission on college visit day to figure out the link between Ali, Wilden, and the mysterious phone number. While the "Ivy League pimp" Brendyn and Emily wait for Spencer at the Brew, they connect and lowkey flirt(?). When Spencer shows up, she tells him she wants to see Cicero first and invites Emily. Emily is actually interested in Cicero, Spencer just wants to snoop.

In other news, Aria's mom is in a mood. An "I-changed-my-mind-about-Austria" mood, courtesy of Aria's little brother Mike. He's not too happy his mom wants to leave them for a couple of months. He and Aria need her. And she needs Mike and Aria, as exemplified by her mother's car filling up with vicious bees in a matter of seconds after she and Aria talk. Another "A" move, probably. Aria confronts Mike about their mother's trip and Mike calls her out. He accuses her of wanting their mother to leave just so she can get back with Ezra. Aria has no words to make in her defense. Yikes.

Hanna's mom Ashley seeks Spencer's mom Veronica's legal help. Ashley thinks the police are building a case against her and Veronica thinks she's right. Hanna overhears and gets freaked out (as usual). Things just keep getting worse for the Marins.

Aria is so desparate to have her mom leave to Austria that she asks her dad to convince her... What? Having your ex-husband talk to you about leaving the country with your new boyfriend is just awkward. Especially while you're recovering from bee stings. But he does, like the good guy he is. He tells her to go.

Spencer is totally in the zone about snooping at Cicero. She accuses Emily of flirting with the guidance counselor Brendyn. To be fair, Emily did accept the guy's invitation to dinner... But Emily is actually interested in Cicero. Spencer makes an excuse to ditch the pair and do some college visiting of her own, and the two go off and explore Cicero. Really, Spencer, your parents are paying top-dollar for this guy to sell you to a good college and you would rather investigate chance connections?

Hanna searches the house for her mother's incriminating muddy shoes and looks in the closet. No sight of the shoes, but she finds something even more incriminating... A gun. Hanna's friends aren't available to advise her otherwise, so, Hanna, in typical Hanna fashion, takes matters into her own hands.

Cut back to Spencer. She's trying to charm a tech geek into helping her figure out the phone number. He's not too impressed by her, but tells her the number is from Greek row. Sounds like something Ali would be involved in. 

The two head over to a sorority party and everything heats up. First of all, the "Greek row" is such a glorified version of the reality of college, it's adorable. Truly adorable. Anyway, Spencer gets agitated when Emily finally admits she doesn't care about the phone number and is primarily concerned with getting a scholarship from a sorority at Cicero. Spencer accuses Emily of flirting to get her way with the guidance counselor, and Emily denounces Spencer as being a rich kid with a safety net of cash. 

Emily is off meeting sorority girls and Spencer is going around waving a picture of Ali at every decent-looking guy. The show really made frat guys look ridiculous. It's hilarious. Shock of all shocks, Hanna shows up. She shows Spencer the gun she found. Looks like Hanna is sick of beng hung up on. Emily walks off with the "Ivy League pimp" and we're suddenly really suspicious of him... Spencer looks around the rooms for her and finds what could be the one sinister room of this otherwise-charming sorority house. A torture-looking panic room of some sort... She plugs in a retro, pink phone into the wall and dials Aria. 

So the phone number leads to a panic room in a sorority house... A panic room with intense scratches on the door... Suddenly, we're thinking of CeCe again. Didn't Ali get CeCe kicked out of a college where she was in a sorority?

Emily sees Hanna and walks out to try to find her. Brendyn keeps flirting and Emily finally gives it to him straight. She lets it slip that she's into the ladies like he is. He looks surprised and not too pleased. She walks off into the woods and straight into a guy's silly-string attack. Spencer finds her and they go off to find Hanna together, "before she does something stupid."

Alas, it's too late. Hanna is seen trying to bury the gun in the woods. In a second, police jump out and arrest her. Caught red-handed... What a shame. Hanna definitely doesn't look good in orange. But "A" suggests Hanna and Ashley can now share a lawyer. 

The final scene is "A" dusting off a picture of Carla Grunswald, a former house mother at the sorority house the panic room is in. Apparently, she had a rep for being a strict lady. How will she play into all of this?

That's it for this week, rendezvous next week for more "PLL" goodness!

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