Imagine yourself in the middle of having sex and your partner whispers the dirtiest, yet most sensual thing into your ear. You want to respond but you can’t think of the perfect thing to say back. Then your partner asks you to say something and you freeze up or you’re too embarrassed to get your words out. What can you do in this situation? How can you talk dirty without sounding foolish?

For starters, trust yourself. More times than not, if you think you sound stupid, you’re probably just being self conscious and your partner is enjoying it—especially if they asked you to do it. When you’re talking dirty to someone, you want to be honest and in the moment. If you plan everything out that you’re going to say, you’ll be caught up in getting it exactly perfect even though it doesn’t need to be. 

That being said, there are some simple phrases that might help you get started. You definitely do not need to stick to these verbatim. Think of these as guidelines if you’ve been having a hard time at figuring out what to say. Something simple like “faster” or “harder” is a very nice way to ease into things. You can say it quietly but just being vocal at all is a good first step. Adding in a “yeah” to your already breathy speech might also help you break out of your shell.

Building off of this by just saying what’s on your mind is a great next step. Saying something like, “yeah, that feels amazing” is a little bit more without being over the top. Again, it’s good to incorporate talking into your breathiness that’s already naturally occurring from the sex. Try not to talk in your normal voice and also probably don’t yell. Just keep it at a sensual, breathy whisper.

If you’re partner is a guy, try to stay away from the cliché “you’re so big” unless he actually is huge. Usually they know their size relative to the norm so if you lie and tell him he’s huge when he’s not, he may wonder what else you’re lying about. Instead though, a good saying with a similar effect is “you’re so hard.” It will get your point across without lying and you’ll probably feel better anyway. 

The best way to utilize dirty talk is by telling your partner exactly what you want them to do to you while you’re having sex. This is basically just an extension of saying faster or harder. If you want to switch positions, tell them. If you want them to grab some part of your body, or get a little rougher, tell them that too. Or even if you want them to slow down and make the sex a little more romantic, say that. Using dirty talk to take control is great and will most likely turn your partner on way more especially if this is unlike your usual sexual behavior. 

The main thing about talking dirty in bed is really just to stay in the moment. If they’re telling you that you’re a bad girl or a bad boy, then tell them back just how bad you are. If you’re the one trying to initiate dirty talk, however, still try and ease into it. Try to prompt your partner by asking them questions or tell them what you want them to say. Ask them to describe how it feels to be having sex or something to the extent of explaining how badly they want to cum. Go easy though and don’t be offended if they aren’t the most chatty the first time around. 

Regardless of the situation, and especially in the beginning of your dirty talk days, try to keep it short. Unless you and your partner are extremely into talking dirty, you don’t want to have a full-blown conversation the entire time you’re having sex. It should be an occasional occurrence throughout your hookup that adds to the attraction, not distracts.

Comment below or email SexSCapades@neontommy.com with questions for the next SexSCapades!