"Zombieland" (Amazon)

The year is 2018. Pilot season has just wrapped and the networks have alerted the public of the resulting episodes’ availability. For the three-month span of summer, every pilot is available on the networks’ websites. Viewers watch, comment, watch again, share, rate, tweet, and whatever-other-social-media-exists-by-then. At the end of the summer the networks compile all the data and choose the most profitable candidates on which to start production. In the mean time, viewers’ tune in to season one of all the shows that made it through the previous summer’s pilot gauntlet, excited because of their sense of involvement and investment in each series. 

Sound interesting?

If the television world operated under Amazon’s standard, this is precisely how each season would unfold. Viewer demand would influence network investment directly. On April 19, Amazon put itself out there as a hopeful source of legitimate original entertainment. The online-shopping empire turned television production company unveiled eight comedy pilots (six live-action and two animated) with the hopes of turning some of them into their first original series. The pilots’ release follows Netflix’s unveiling of its own original content, highlighting a shift towards welcoming non-network television production. While Amazon is releasing all its pilots without series orders, versus Netflix’s premiere of the entire first season of “House of Cards,” both companies share the tactic of turning user data into successful television. For Netflix, this meant analyzing viewing patterns of all its content and finding out people really enjoy Kevin Spacey and David Fincher. For Amazon, it means taking user feedback directly about its pilots. How long will they be collecting data, exactly? Amazon Studios Chief Roy Price says, “They'll be on the site for at least a month” before the analysis begins. 

Now, let’s take a look at the most important aspect: the pilots themselves. 

"Alpha House" (Amazon)

1. "Alpha House"

Starring John Goodman and involving brief cameos with Bill Murray and Stephen Colbert, “Alpha House” surrounds the lives of four senators who live together in Washington D.C. The four men are older Republicans dealing with the daily politics of living and working in our nation’s capital. The problem with the pilot is how it presents the politics as too daily and therefore mundane. While the perspective of experienced Republicans who aren’t total buffoons is refreshingly unique, the lack of both strong jokes (or, honestly, many jokes at all) and real dramatic impetus makes it hard to care. The show’s comedy refuses to take a stance as satirical, observational, absurd, or any number of options available for a political setting. Instead it opts to avoid much comedy entirely. When jokes do occur, they’re often cheap and unoriginal. If Amazon decides to pick it up, the show will need to start taking its humor seriously if it has any hopes of creating a memorable and successful show. It might help to start actually shooting it like a comedy instead of a forgettable drama. The four main actors offer a glimpse into more nuanced characters than the writing lets on, so their involvement guarantees at least some sort of upward trajectory for the show.

2. "Betas"

“Betas” attempts to tap into the less romantic version of Mark Zuckerberg’s success story by concerning itself with a group of college-aged tech entrepreneurs living in Silicon Valley. Or, at least, I’m pretty sure it is. The show suffers from shaky and unclear storytelling in the first half of the pilot, preventing the viewer from immersing him or herself seamlessly into the world (and therefore understanding it). By the end of the episode, however, the characters have become compelling and clear enough for the show to feel promising. The cast of “Betas” is full of relatively unknown actors, with the exception of Jon Daly (although hopefully some of you will also recognize Karan Soni from “Safety Not Guaranteed”). Daly’s success as a comedian / twisted version of the golfer John Daly already guarantees a modicum of humor for the show. His character is a little unclear, but he appears to be an older mentor for the main group of guys. Daly adds a nice sense of comfort and sense of self to this otherwise undeveloped persona. The characters with which he shares the screen have a tenuous grasp on their selves. Although, it is a comedy pilot, so this lack of consistent characterization is understandable and forgivable. The pilot packs on the melodramatic tension pretty heavily at the end, but it retains enough charm and personality for me to root for it. 

"Browsers" (Amazon)

3. "Browsers"

“Browsers” opens with an audience warning: “The following program contains musical numbers. Viewer discretion advised.” What follows is probably the shortest and most superficial bit of exposition to ever occur in a pilot. In a sequence of three screenshots, the show informs the viewer of its premise: interns at a high profile online content publisher and aggregator. This precedence for superficial and cheesy silliness follows through the whole episode. With indistinguishable songs, one-dimensional characters, and poor jokes, “Browsers” doesn’t set itself up to succeed. It’s obvious the concept felt like enough for the writers. Expecting a relatable setting with the excitement of song and dance to sustain itself without smart writing and good characters has turned out to be the wrong move. It switches between elements of mockumentary and surrealism to end up feeling like the result of a high school creative assignment. The actors are equally unlikable, using the pilot to demonstrate how they don’t have enough charm or talent to salvage bad writing. However awesome the possibility of a musical workplace sitcom may be, “Browsers” hasn’t proved itself as the answer to such a desire. 

"Dark Minions" (Amazon)

4. "Dark Minions"

“Dark Minions” is one of the two animated comedy pilots. The main characters take the time before the pilot starts to point out its even more specific circumstance: the show is stop-motion animation. Or, will be if it gets picked up. The pilot itself is only about half stop-motion because of time constraints. As nice as it would be to say how the writing proves itself despite full animation, it would falsely advertise the show. The show unfolds as the story of two men who work for a futuristic corporation that wants to control the universe. This future still includes clerical work and faulty machinery, just with the addition of countless planets and inter-galactic travel. And, of course, a partnership of bumbling men and potential love interests. In theory the show could be funny. The problem is every joke and plotline unfolds with so much apathy that they seem to reflect some kind of apathy on the part of the writers and creators. With the exception of a few smile-inducing lines, the jokes all fit into a realm of potential-on-paper but failure-on-execution. It becomes a drag to get through. Whatever viewer agency the show set up by telling us about its half-animated state gets lost in the doldrums of the episode. The potential for a stop-motion animated series is pretty exciting, though, but only if the animations end up actually funny.

5. "Onion News Empire"

For those of you living under a rock, The Onion is the satirical news source oft cited as real news to the chagrin of the non-gullible everywhere. Its articles usually provide sharp social commentary alongside just plain wacky ideas. The satire has not boxed itself into just the written word—online shows like “Onion News Network” have developed and succeeded. This platform switch has not hindered The Onion’s humor or success, so the transition into full sitcom doesn’t come as much a surprise. Unfortunately, “Onion News Empire” didn’t seem to anticipate how big the jump is from satirical news publication to a full-length storytelling product. The individually funny lines come mainly from fake headlines (which is precisely how The Onion functions), and a lot of the scenes read more as sketch comedy than a developed narrative. The pilot demonstrates a transparent attempt to hold onto the tent poles of The Onion’s comedic success, as opposed to using it as a jumping-off point into a smart and developed show. The pilot has influences of “30 Rock” and “Arrested Development,” with its satirical observations and absurd situations, but unfortunately lacks the sheer wit and hilarity of those two comedic tour de forces (the comparison may also come from the presence of both Cheyenne Jackson and Jeffrey Tambor). The entire show is so parody-driven that its juices are bound to run out. Unless the show can carry the consistency of its news satire over to the actual storytelling and character development, “Onion News Empire” will have trouble creating a television identity. 

"Supanatural" (Amazon)

6. "Supanatural"

The second animated comedy pilot is “Supanatural.” The main characters are two women who work in a local mall and hold the responsibility of keeping the planet safe from supernatural forces. The main characters’ voice work is very expressive and they exchange fairly consistent banter, making their interpersonal exchanges the highlight of the pilot. Unfortunately, an animation style reminiscent of online kids’ games as well as some jarring and contrived sentimentality ultimately bogs down their wit. The show also takes some uncomfortable liberties with racist remarks under the assumption that if the characters call each other out it can justify the presence of the joke in the first place. As with all the pilots the concept is nicely original, and its silliness is appropriate for an animated format. The pilot also offers a couple voice-over Easter Eggs (though they probably result more from budget constraints than a desire to appeal to observant viewers). Kristen Schaal, famous for her work as a comedian and character actress, serves as one of the producers of “Supanatural.” She also has two brief voice-over roles as an old woman and the Sheriff. This show has equal potential of becoming a repetitive mess and a quickly paced, antic-driven comedy, so hopefully it chooses the second route if it makes it to series.

"Those Who Can't" (Amazon)

7. "Those Who Can’t"

Within the first two minutes, “Those Who Can’t” sets itself apart as the real gem in this crop of pilots. The beginning delves just enough into each character’s situation in order for the viewer to understand the dynamic, but without unnecessary and clunky exposition. The show stars Adam Cayton-Holland, Benjamin Roy, and Andrew Orvedahl, three comedians who have developed a live comedy act over the past few years in Colorado. Their preexisting chemistry and comfort with each other helps to make this pilot feel more fleshed out and consistent than the rest.  The show’s name is in reference to the statement of “those who can’t do, teach.” The main trio all act as different high school teachers and spend the pilot interacting with coworkers and students. The show spends just enough time touching on conflicts like love interests and job security without pounding them over our head. “Those Who Can’t” creates a world without too many concepts and guidelines in order to showcase the actors themselves, which (at least in the pilot) ends up as a good decision. Luckily, the main trio also has company in a bevy of talented supporting players who also come from the live comedy scene (Nikki Glaser and Rory Scovel among them). The music and a few of the editing choices detract from the overall quality of the show, but these are minor gripes that will surely go away if the show has the chance to progress.

8. Zombieland

Disclaimer: I have not seen the original “Zombieland” movie. But, of course, this show should be able to function as an independent unit and I will treat it as thus.

“Zombieland” tries to take the role of Amazon’s desire for an “Arrested Development”-type program: a successful original version with an avid, cult-like fan base. Unfortunately, Amazon decides to play it safe and go for cheesy and underdeveloped plots and characters. Zombies have become such a ubiquitous presence in pop culture that the show really needs an identity in order to make its presence worth it. The identity the pilot presents has shades of something interesting but falls victim to superficiality and unearned attempts at emotional gravitas. It also suffers from the same problem of NBC’s “Revolution:” why are they all so clean? And why does Wichita wear so much makeup? And how does their car interior maintain its luster? It might be forgiving to eschew a lot of realism if the characters were compelling (and therefore distracted from lower points of the show), but so far they fulfill nothing more than one-sided tropes. The show’s decision to set up such a clear and unwavering goal from the beginning (get to the East Coast! Subvert American frontier-ism!) has the potential to ultimately prove problematic because it elevates plot conflict over character conflict. While the former is necessary, it can’t reach any potential without the latter.

Overall, while the consistency and humor of the pilots waver, they demonstrate promise and excitement for Amazon’s methodology. The concepts avoid the typical molds of network sitcoms (and understandably so, considering their current inability to succeed). Yes, comedy pilots rarely indicate the success of its future episodes and seasons, so it may seem unfair for these pilots to undergo so much criticism. Commenting on their quality comes from a respect and hope for the medium, though, because it assumes their potential to improve and develop into worthy additions to the world of original content. I want Amazon succeed, as it surely does as well. The only way for the crowd-sourcing method to succeed is if the crowd thinks critically about its influence and power to enable good television.

Underneath this earnest hope, however, lie a few worries. The most pragmatic of which is Amazon’s streaming service. The quality is much choppier and the video player’s design lacks the simplicity of its more successful counterparts. Amazon will also need to find a way to keep the momentum of the pilots going after the data analysis begins. The time between pilot and series production can last a fairly long time, and this may alienate viewers in such an immediacy-obsessed television culture. Regardless, this first batch of pilots will be a fascinating and hopefully successful experiment. Who can say how much it will influence the television landscape as a whole, but it certainly sets Amazon up as an innovative and active member.