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The 8 Worst Horror Movie Remakes

Kathy Zerbib |
April 13, 2013 | 12:10 a.m. PDT

Associate Entertainment Editor

Nicolas Cage's role in "The Wicker Man" is more comedic than suspenseful (Warner Bros.)
Nicolas Cage's role in "The Wicker Man" is more comedic than suspenseful (Warner Bros.)
What does a filmmaker do when he or she feels compelled to generate a remake of a classic horror movie? Butcher it to death - pun intended - with unnecessary special effects, unconvincing performances, and minimal suspense, of course! The following films are some of the many misguided remakes that fell very short of their predecessors. 

"The Wicker Man"

Oh, Nicolas Cage. You proved you’re not cut out for the superhero role and you are definitely not cut out to be a fancy-pants policeman. Yet the latter is partly not Cage’s fault, seeing as how the 1973 “Wicker Man” version is a top cinematic creation and any attempt at remaking a masterpiece would require infinitely foolhardy pride. To sum up this 2006 remake, Cage runs around the island shouting at everyone, gets stung by a ton of bees, and socks a woman in the face. It isn’t suspenseful, but it sure is funny.

"The Fog"

The original 1980 “The Fog” was not the film of the decade by any means, but its 2005 remake was just so terrible that it deserves a spot on this lineup. The dialogue is poor, especially the “jokes,” and the suspense is practically nonexistent. The cast is made up of teens with no personality whatsoever. As for the plot twist at the end? Nothing to write home about.

"The Omen"

For starters, the boy in this remake, though too adorable for words, looks like a little monster from the beginning. Then again, his chubby cheeks and bowl cut make him look more like a spoiled brat than the Antichrist. For another, the film is just about as close to a copy of its original as it gets. Why bother making a remake if no improvements were planned? Try as it did, the 2006 film was unable to match and surpass its 1976 version. Some things are only magical the first time around.

"The Invasion"

Nicole Kidman and Daniel Craig (Swoon!) are great actors, but, once again, not the right actors for these roles. The plot is also so inconsistent that the future James Bond’s fine characteristics are left unappreciated in the midst of predictability and yawn-worthy dialogue. Beautiful faces just did not cut it, in this case. Such a shame that the 2007 adaptation is an embarrassment to the 1956 version “Invasion of the Body Snatchers.” 

Brittany Snow, you're supposed to look terrified in "Prom Night," not disgusted (Screen Gems).
Brittany Snow, you're supposed to look terrified in "Prom Night," not disgusted (Screen Gems).
"Prom Night"

Brittany Snow in the 2008 version of “Prom Night” pales in comparison to Jamie Lee Curtis in the 1980 original.The predictable murder scenes lacked terror, the screaming was half-hearted, and the actual killer does not quite strike fear in our hearts. Usually, we want to see characters make it through until the end, but this remake has us begging for something bad to happen to them. For such a stereotypically memorable night, this prom won’t be remembered long after the credits roll.

"The Haunting"

First of all, this 1999 film, about a team of paranormal experts investigating a mysterious house, was doomed from the moment its actors were cast. Owen Wilson and Catherine Zeta-Jones? Two tragic decisions for a horror movie. Liam Neeson, as fantastic as he is, should never have gotten involved with this trainwreck. The original 1963 film is seen as one of the best ghost stories to date. Does this remake, with its flat acting and flashy effects, even compare? Not in the slightest.

"The Texas Chainsaw Massacre"

Sure, the cast (including Jessica Biel, Erica Leerhsen, and Mike Vogel) of the 2003 remake are a pretty bunch to stare at, but Michael Bay could have - and should have – done better. To put it kindly, the film added nothing to the original 1974 movie. Though it was a low-budget film, the original took care in having elaborate content. The 2003 version, instead of following suit, was fixated on putting in as much gore as possible. The result? All blood, no quality.

"Halloween"

Poor Rob Zombie just could not catch a break with his 2007 imitation of the 1978 classic slasher flick. Perhaps it is because of how wildly triumphant the original was and how big the shoes to fill were that the remake failed so terrifically. Perhaps Zombie’s “Halloween” is one of the many that were never given a chance by the original film’s fans. That, or it could be due to the cheap dialogue, tacky camera work, and overkill of everything else.

Reach Associate Entertainment Editor Kathy Zerbib here; Follow her on Twitter here.



 

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