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Warning: Extremist Black Socialist Takes Office In 80 Days

Jonathan Stoller-Schoff |
November 7, 2012 | 10:04 p.m. PST


The socialist has been elected. (Barack Obama, Creative Commons)
The socialist has been elected. (Barack Obama, Creative Commons)
My fellow Americans, today is a dark day. Now that President Barack Hussein Obama has won a four-year term in the White House, it is time to seriously consider our future as a nation. Where will we go from here?

Today is a day that straight white male voters may have to concern themselves with the rights of women, minorities and the LGBT community. Today is a day that the very rich may have to pay more taxes to finance education, healthcare and nation building. Today is a day that Americans may have to reach across the aisle, realizing that making Barack Obama a one-term president just isn’t a realistic goal anymore. I shudder to think about tomorrow.

According to RedWhiteBlueNews, “Barack Obama…was mentored by communists through adulthood.” And now that he has been elected for a four-year term, the “United States is destined to become a totalitarian cross between Cuba and Greece.”

This day is terrifying. It means new, uncharted waters for our country. We have no idea what could happen in the next four years, with such a volatile extremist socialist liberal in office. It is unfathomable what this dangerous African-American could do to our country in four years' time. In fact, I would quake to see what would happen to America if Barack Obama were given the reigns of our great nation for four years.

Ex-vice-presidential nominee, current stay-at-home mom, and GOP leader Sarah Palin said of the results, “This really is a catastrophic setback to our economy.” Palin, like many members of her party, seems to assume that four years of Barack Obama would mean an economic downturn leading to a terrible financial disaster, comparable to the Great Depression. Fortunately, we haven’t had one of those recently, so Barack Obama will most likely not have to show an ability to lower unemployment.

Ideally, we would have a record of Obama’s previous achievements as President of the United States of America. I imagine that we would see a continuation in the steady drop in unemployment, a continuation in the march for equality, and perhaps even a push for a more ethical tax code, but Palin seems to be operating under the assumption that these records do not exist. Only time will tell us how Obama will lead.

Thus, nation, I ask you: who knows where this could lead? To marriage equality? To equal pay for equal work? To immigration reform? Who can tell? Whatever the election of Barack Obama means - America, brace yourself.


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Anonymous (not verified) on December 20, 2012 3:43 PM

I'm sick of republicans and their selfish and racist veiw points. it's time that they shut their mouths and end their gratuitous prejudiced comments on Obama. Obama is a great president who cares for our country and the people in it. Unlike republicans, who only care about the rich and people who are white. This post was intended to be biased and i hope republicans see the truth in it.

Anonymous (not verified) on November 8, 2012 8:37 AM

I hate when people say, 'This country is founded on the Bible'. Heck no, it was founded on violence & greed. This country was cursed before Obama full of racism, greed & selfishness. I see no one doing anything other than getting angry & taking to the Internet.
This article was crap & the writer & publication should feel ashamed for spreading discrimination & for bad taste.

Anonymous (not verified) on November 7, 2012 11:53 PM

I know this is parody, but it's not funny at all and something like this should be reserved for The Onion. Even though this is only a joke, it only adds to the divisiveness already apparent and widespread in our country. I'm disappointed that the editors even published this.

Anonymous (not verified) on November 8, 2012 10:44 PM

Funny you should mention it, I think one of the best ways to cure divisiveness and polarity is through humor.

Anonymous (not verified) on November 7, 2012 11:54 PM

And also, the title needs to be changed, because he is already in office.

Anonymous (not verified) on November 8, 2012 10:46 PM

I think if you read the article clearly, it's part of the satire. Good job to the author!