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Supermodel Kate Moss Reveals Insecurities

Kathy Le |
November 9, 2012 | 11:09 a.m. PST

Staff Reporter

Life is hard for beautiful people too – at least according to renowned supermodel Kate Moss. 

 Vanity Fair/Mert Alas & Marcus Piggot)
Vanity Fair/Mert Alas & Marcus Piggot)

The beauty had a startlingly personal interview with Vanity Fair, especially surprising because she does not often do interviews.

However, it’s clear that when she does speak, she does not hold back.

Gracing the fashion magazine’s December cover, Moss is the image of confidence and allure, but she reveals that she started out insecure in front of the camera, recounting two now-iconic shoots that made her famous.

Scouted at age 14, she broke into the modeling industry with a Corinne Day shoot for British alternative fashion magazine The Face, in which she posed nude. Moss said of the experience, “I see a 16-year-old now, and to ask her to take her clothes off would feel really weird. But they were like, 'If you don’t do it, then we’re not going to book you again.' So I’d lock myself in the toilet and cry and then come out and do it. I never felt very comfortable about it. There’s a lot of boobs. I hated my boobs! Because I was flat-chested. And I had a big mole on one.”

During the shoot, Moss, 38, even made the only man on the shoot—a hairdresser—turn his back.

Another excruciating shoot was what made her famous, when she posed topless with Mark “Marky” Walhberg in the well-known 1992 Calvin Klein ads, photographed by Herb Ritts.

Moss, only 17 at the time, suffered a nervous breakdown.

"It didn't feel like me at all. I felt really bad about straddling this buff guy," she said. "I didn't like it. I couldn't get out of bed for two weeks. I thought I was going to die."

She remembers that a doctor was going to give her Valium, but Francesca Sorrenti, Moss's friend and mother of Mario Sorrenti, refused to let her take the drug.

However, Moss is highly associated with another drug, and it probably accounts for her legendary status.

In the 1990s, the English beauty became known as the face of “heroin chic,” a look characterized by rail thin, pale models with angular bones and dark eyes.

Moss insists she never took the drug, "I had never even taken heroin. It was nothing to do with me at all."

 Vanity Fair/Mert Alas & Marcus Piggot)
Vanity Fair/Mert Alas & Marcus Piggot)
She also insists she was never anorexic, “I was thin, but that's because I was doing shows, working really hard. At that time, I was staying at a B and B in Milan, and you'd get home from work and there was no food. You'd get to work in the morning, there was no food. Nobody took you out for lunch when I started."

In general, the emblematic waif bemoans about her work, “Nobody takes care of you mentally. There’s a massive pressure to do what you have to do. I was really little … I didn’t like it. But it was work, and I had to do it.”

However, she does reveal that there has been one person that was able to take care of her - actor Johnny Depp, with whom she had a four-year relationship.

"There's nobody that's ever really been able to take care of me. Johnny did for a bit. I believed what he said," Moss said, "Like if I said, 'What do I do?' he'd tell me."

That was why it was so hard when the two split up in 1998, "I really lost that gauge of somebody I could trust. Nightmare. Years and years of crying. Oh, the tears!”

Even today, the supermodel remains insecure.

Though she is currently promoting the publication of Kate: The Kate Moss Book, a thick collection of some of her best photographs, she hates being photographed, “I'm terrible at a snapshot. Terrible," she said. "I blink all the time. I've got facial Tourette's. Unless I'm working and in that zone, I'm not very good at pictures, really."

The woman who has graced countless magazine covers says, “I don’t want to be myself, ever,”

Don’t get her all wrong though. She certainly doesn’t spend all her days wallowing in regret and self-pity.

Moss is happily settled with her guitarist husband Jamie Hince; they married in 2011 after a four-year romance.

“I don’t really go to clubs anymore. I’m actually quite settled. Living in Highgate with my dog and my husband and my daughter! I’m not a hell-raiser.”

As an extra kick, she added, “Don’t burst the bubble. Behind closed doors, for sure I’m a hell-raiser.”

Reach Staff Reporter Kathy Le here.



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