Before Sookie hears about this week’s dangerous murderer out to get her, she still tries to unfold the mystery of her parents’ death.  

She meets with the faerie Elder (maybe while the vamps have been reading the Book of Lilith, the faeries have been reading the Book of Mormon), to learn more about the contract in which John Williams Stackhouse sold her to a vampire named M. Marlowe.  

Sookie and Jason, like myself, are really over dealing with Russell Edgington. Photo courtesy of HBO.

The faerie elder is really hard to describe.  She’s like a three-way cross between a Dreamgirl and an unfocused five-year-old and a mentally challenged hula dancer.  Trying to get a straight answer out of her is like trying to find a decent room in Trojan Hall.  This girl is obsessed with bad music but in between her random rants about Ke$ha she manages to tell her that their destinies (Sookie’s, the Elder’s, and John Stackhouse’s) are all intertwined, and that “there is a reason you slut yourself out to anyone with fangs.”  Ooh, burn.

Unfortunately, before she can impart any real wisdom, she goes bonkers because Jason runs in screaming that Russell Edgington and Reverend Steve are on the loose.  Together, Sookie and the Elder Faerie rally the other faeries to battle Russell.  While Jason looks like he’s ready for a fight in that moment, once he gets home Russell and the Reverend pounce on him – only metaphorically, although I’m sure the two of them would have enjoyed some physical pouncing as well – and Russell glamours Jason into leading them to the faerie safe house where Sookie resides.

The elder faerie, who is quite brave for someone who likes musicians who brush their teeth with bottles of Jack, leaves the house to face Russell but he sucks her dry.  The episode ends just as all the faeries in the no-longer-safe house become visible to him. 

While her “eternal love” is being used as a pawn in a villainous scheme, Jessica isn’t faring much better.  She briefly finds solace in Fangtasia with Pam and Tara, who are nervous in their own right about being caught for killing Elijah, the eyeliner-wearing, Council-appointed district sheriff.  During their sleepover, Pam theorizes that Bill has gone cold as a result of being part of a “Nest” in which vampires live together and feed off each other.  The side effects of the “Nest” have been exponentially multiplied because he’s drinking Lilith blood, which sounds a little bit like liquid heroin.  (Or maybe heroin is liquid?  We Birnkranters don’t know these things.)     

Sure enough, before long Barb from Cougar Town, a Council chancellor who has lasted surprisingly long, shows up in Fangtasia and she does not look happy.  It turns out that Elijah was her progeny, and that means whoever killed him is in big trouble.  Shockingly, Pam takes the blame for Tara and gets arrested, along with Jessica, who is dragged back to the Council and subjected to a punch from Chris Brown/Bill.

Between Bill, Barb (I promise I’ll know her name by the finale), Russell and Reverend Steve, those Authority members are making life hell for humans and vampires alike.  Another one of their unfortunate victims is General Cavanaugh, who comes to the Authority asking for Roman (news flash: he died about ten episodes ago).  When the Chancellors explain that Roman is “no longer with” them due to his failure to accept a goddess who doesn’t believe in bikini waxes, Cavanaugh freaks out.  He threatens to ruin the Council’s public image by releasing a video of Russell and Reverend Steve killing 22 frat brothers, by using weapons and by capitalizing on vampires’ inability to walk during the day.  He kind of seems like a badass – until Eric snaps his head off, that is.  

While Eric plays his neck-snapping off as an impulsive act of devotion to Lilith, he has ulterior motives – and a reconciled companion.  Indeed, after seeing the vision of Godric last episode, Nora finally realizes that she’s been worshipping a psychopath.  Apparently Eric is a better kisser than Salome, because as he and Nora engage in some painful-looking makeup sex, Nora begs for his forgiveness for temporarily believing in Lilith.  Eric immediately forgives her and promises her that he’ll find a way to get both of them out of there.

Strangely enough, an escape route presents itself in the General’s murder.  Eric persuades the Council that they can avoid a major PR crisis by sending him and Nora to glamour the General’s entourage into forgetting the whole incident – if he and Nora can leave the headquarters to catch the humans, of course.  Although a suspicious Bill insists that they take a security detail with them, Eric literally bashes those guards’ heads in once they’ve driven far away enough from the Council.  (Wow, lots of security guards are dying tonight).  And so commences Eric and Nora’s excellent, semi-incestuous adventure.  I’m not gonna lie, they’re kinda hot together.

Sam and Luna are less lucky in their dealings with the Authority.  They successfully find Emma but two security guards imprison Luna and take Sam to die.  As Sam is being taken out of the jail, he passes Pam, who’s being taken in, and tells her to help Luna.  I’d say the chances of that happening are about one in a million, but you never know – Pam is a lot more generous than she would like to admit.

If there was a book of Alcide, I think I would read it. Photo courtesy of HBO.

Meanwhile, this episode of “True Blood” poses a real mystery – how in the world did Alcide’s repulsive father produce such an incredibly attractive child?  And why can’t we viewers look at more shirtless Alcide instead of naked Lilith?  Anyway, after they’re warned about the huge increase in baby vampire attacks, Alcide and his often-cowardly dad kick some serious baby-vamp butt.  That’s real father-son bonding right there.

And lastly, Andy promises Holly’s boys that he’ll treat their mother right – and a couple hours later, learns that he accidentally knocked up Maurella, his creepy faerie mistress.  Whoops.  Yep, Maurella’s pregnant, apparently if Andy acts like a deadbeat dad, he’s going to be violating something called the “Light Pact”…or he’s just going to be considered a douchebag by most of society.

  Sadly, “Sunset” didn’t have too many amazing quotes, but this little tidbit made me smile:

Arlene’s relationship advice to Andy: “You gotta pick somebody who’s gonna be with you through thick and thin, because you never know when some Iraqi ghost lady is gonna curse your entire town.”      

Reach reporter Lindsay Dale here.