"Pretty Little Liars" Episode 7 Recap: Girls, Interrupted
This “A” doesn’t play with dolls. This “A” doesn’t play with texts. This “A” plays with your mind. So strap on your safety vest and try to maintain a hold on your sanity, because this week’s episode, aptly titled “Crazy” was a one-way trip to the dark and twisted depths of “A’s” master game. Let’s dive in.
Parental supervision on “Pretty Little Liars” is already a mythological notion – I mean, how does any combination of four loving and attentive parents (discounting Emily’s dad and Hanna’s dad because they are never around, and Spencer’s parents because they downright suck) not notice that their children are being stalked and terrorized over a period of seven months? However, as futile as parental presence is on this show, the news that Hanna’s mom is out of town for a couple days is equitable to a nice, big bullseye being painted on Hanna’s forehead. Case in point – no sooner does Hanna get off the phone with her departed mother than officer Wilden shows up on her doorstep seeking a blood sample. The blood on Ali’s anklet was O-negative, like Hanna’s, and the police have multiple witnesses placing Hanna in Mrs. Reynold’s hospital room. Hanna claims her innocence, to which Officer Wilden retorts, “Why do you look so scared?” Touché.
Hanna was clearly shaken from her encounter with Officer Wilden, I mean, she tried to match pink and purple. She looked like an Easter egg. (See evidence here.) On their way to school, she explains her paranoia worry that the cops are trying to pin Ali’s murder on her. Aria points out that Hanna never killed anyone, so there is nothing to prove. Regardless, Hanna skips out on coffee (I think she was jittery enough already) and scurried off to school while the other girls ran into CeCe Drake – Ali’s confidant and mentor during an “intense” summer a few years back. Clearly it was a formative summer too, since CeCe and Ali share all the same mannerisms. She’s back in town with a lingering lust for Jason, and a loaded memory of all of Ali’s secrets about the girls.
Finally at school, Aria discovers that her little Match.com meddling a few episodes back has landed her “Hotmama” a date with an appropriately groomed suitor. (Appropriately groomed = plenty of hair, all atop his head) They start to talk fashion until Ella comes to the long overdue epiphany that fashion advice is not to be taken from someone who wears forks for earrings.
In other parts of school, Spencer is yearbook stalking CeCe Drake and adding her summer with Ali to some weird online compilation of all the “A” clues when she is interrupted by Toby. He already thinks she has been acting weird, and slamming her laptop shut at the sound of his voice isn’t helping. Spencer freaks when Toby starts “challenging” her belief that Garrett is still guilty. But as he was once on the opposite side of Spencer’s witch-hunt, he is a lot slower to pass judgment now.
Working at the coffee shop, which we have now learned is called “The Brew”, Nate comes to Emily for some Jenna advice. He wants to know if she will like the candle he bought when they go out on their date that night. Ummm, what? Barely able to contain her contempt, Emily says it’ll appeal to her highly developed sense of smell. I probably shouldn’t have laughed at that, but I did. Emily is funny when she’s pissed. Nate failed to notice the neon blinking “I HATE JENNA” sign above Emily’s head, because apparently Miss J spun him full of lovely tales of friendship between herself and Emily… and Maya. I repeat: Ummm, what?
Back at the “empty” Marin abode, Hanna and Aria were greeted with another sinister gift from Ali’s grave. The Ouija board Hanna buried with her friend was back, with a seriously creepy makeover. 25 letters of the alphabet were scratched out, all except… you want to guess? That’s right, A. The terrorist’s signature character was circled in red. When Hanna reached for the planchette, she pricked her finger on the miniature spikes “A” planted all over the piece. The planchette tumbled over in the process revealing a note: “See how easy it is for me to get your blood?” While Hanna freaked out about “A” getting access to her house, Aria was more concerned about what the Ouija board really meant.
Cue flashback: It was the summer, right before Ali’s body was found. On a dark and stormy night (no joke), Mona convinced Hanna to hold a séance with her. Mona asks the spirits to divulge the fate of Alison DiLaurentis. The planchette spelled out A L I V E. That’s right, alive. Just then, lightning flashed and Hanna saw, or thinks she saw, Alison standing outside the window.
Back in current time, Aria asks Hanna if anyone besides Mona knows that story. They hear something shatter and turn to see a broken flowerpot right outside the door. Someone else knows that Ouija story now…
Outside school, because some of the characters in the show actually go to school, Spencer hails down a running Jason for some more half-sibling bonding time. They are both equally devastated at Garrett’s release, though for different reasons. With Daddy DiLaurentis returning to Rosewood tonight, Jason is frustrated at his inability to help solve the case. Always the big screw-up, he says. Spencer asks about CeCe Drake and Jason responds with disdain. Everything’s intense with CeCe, he says, and no, that summer many moons ago did not end on a good note. Uh oh.
Too bad Emily wasn’t there to heed Jason’s warning. As she and Nate meandered into CeCe’s shop looking for an alternate gift for Jenna, CeCe immediately saw a situation in dire need of meddling. CeCe cornered Emily and quickly deduced the situation at hand: Em hates Jenna, but not because she’s jealous, because she’s a lesbian. CeCe was able to track back to Ali’s secret that one of her friends had a giant crush on her. Wow. Either CeCe has a super power Sheldon Cooper memory, or she placed a lot of value on that summer with Ali and Jason. I wonder why… While Em helped Nate choose a pretty necklace for Jenna, she expressed her disapproval that he should spend so much for just a first date… and on Jenna. His reply: Maybe if the hottest girl in Rosewood was available, and interested in guys, he wouldn’t have to. I repeat for the third time – ummm, what? What is going on with these crazy kids?
Back at The Brew, Ella showed up for her blind date, definitely fulfilling the expectation of her username “Hotmama.” I wasn’t the only one to notice, as Ella got shamelessly flirted with by the hottie biscotti barista. She told him that she was meeting someone for a first date, i.e. I’M SINGLE. He definitely looked pleased at that prospect. All was well until mystery date Ted had to show up and ruin the fun. Ted, as in Pastor Ted, as in the same guy that Mrs. Marin was flirting up just last week. The Pastor’s a player!! Love it.
Remember when “A” changed Mona’s visitor access a couple weeks ago? Well, we finally got to see the consequence of that as Aria paid her frenemy a little visit to get to the bottom of the Ouija board debacle. She was, however, required to leave her earrings at the front desk. Ha. Mona’s visits require nurse supervision, so the conversation was limited to small talk over the construction of a card house. When Aria brought up Hanna, Mona was quick to get rid of the nurse and really talk business. Aria told her about the Ouija board, and that it wasn’t the first trinket from Ali’s grave to make a reappearance. Mona only said “It isn’t me,” and “tell Hanna I’m sorry.” Now this is an interesting turn of events…
Chilling with Spencer after school, Hanna sees Mr. DiLaurentis roaming around Rosewood. Hanna goes up to him to apologize, saying she knows she didn’t help the family in the time after Ali disappeared and she is sorry for that. This isn’t just condolences, something else is up. Mr. DiLaurentis fumed at Hanna, saying a friend would never do what she did. What exactly did she do?
Back at The Brew, Emily confronts Nate about Jenna. She tells him that a couple months ago, Jenna used to date Garrett. While she intended for this to be a warning to stay away from the crazy B, Nate took it in the complete opposite direction. He was just so glad that Jenna didn’t become Garrett’s next victim. He tells Em that she is a good friend. However, the look on her face read something like: But I don’t know if I like you just as a friend.
As Aria left the hospital, Hanna was waiting outside to hear all the juicy details. Too bad there was nothing of much intrigue to share. Uninterested in Mona’s apology, Hanna determined to sneak back in and confront her ex-friend herself. “Friends don’t let friends sneak into insane asylums alone,” said Aria. It really should be “Friends don’t let friends sneak into insane asylums period.” But, since this is “Pretty Little Liars”, we’ll have to let it slide.
Walking home at night, Emily ran into CeCe for the third time that day. But I guess in CeCe’s world, three times makes you a friend, since she pried for info about Nate and offered her number to Em, because it’s always helpful to have a crazy chick on speed dial. While distracting Emily with questions about Jason’s relationship status, CeCe swiped Jenna’s number and called her anonymously as Nate’s girlfriend, threatening to scratch her eyes out if they ever meet up again. “She used to be blind!!” Emily cawed. But this didn’t phase CeCe, as she explained in the most blasé manner, “It needed to be done, it’s not like we shot a unicorn.” Remorseless, conniving, yet still able to make it seem like a favor – yup, CeCe has all the makings of the biggest queen bee Rosewood has ever seen. It was absolutely no surprise at all that Emily later saw Nate sitting alone with the gift on her way home. Jenna never showed.
After her date with Pastor Ted was a bust – he ate ice cream the same way that Mr. Montgomery did – Ella made her way back to The Brew looking for Emily. Guess who she found instead? Mr. hottie biscotti barista, whose name is Zack and is actually the owner of that lovely little coffee shop. After slyly complimenting her age (He is a good 10 – 15 years younger), Zack invited Ella to stay a while and share the leftover pastries from the day. Date #2!! Damn, I guess Ella is the real player here.
Back at the hospital, Hanna successfully sneaks in to see Mona (Aria standing outside as lookout) and demands to know the truth about that night when she thought she saw Alison. Right when Mona was about to open up, Aria came running in, effectively shutting her up. Mona forces Hanna to reveal what really happened.
Cue flashback #2: A few days later, Hanna and Mona were walking around Rosewood, talking about a secret code where the first letter of every word spells out the message, for example “She lives under trees” means slut. (Not useless details – this comes into major play later) when Hanna is confronted by a livid Mr. DiLaurentis. The night of the Ouija board, Hanna called Mrs. DiLaurentis and told her that Ali was alive, giving her hope, until the body was found 3 days later. Mr. DiLaurentis could never forgive her for what she had done and had to be pulled away by Jason.
End flashback. While Hanna and Aria were taking a trip down memory lane, Mona took her own trip, escaping down the halls of the hospital. They track her down to the abandoned children’s ward, where she picked the lock with the tweezers she stole off Hanna a few weeks back. The girls followed Mona’s humming down the dark and disheveled ward, until they found her playing with ancient baby dolls, reciting little poems to them. “Miss Aria, you’re a killer, not Ezra’s wife,” she cooed to the doll with black hair. When Hanna took that one away she resumed with another, “Where were we? Maya’s away sleeping sweet, until Garrett’s all rosy count on me.” When Hanna pleaded with Mona to tell them anything she repeated the last limerick, “No one to save Ali from evil”, until the nurses came to take her away. Aria and Hanna hid in the closet and watched Mona leave, still reciting her verses throughout the corridors.
Meanwhile, Spencer was driving home late at night followed by an erratic car, which passed her and then slammed into a parked vehicle on the side of the road. Little surprise that the driver was an absolutely hammered Jason. And even less of a surprise that Spencer forced him into the passenger’s seat and drove away, telling him the accident never happened. Yeah, uh, except for the obvious damage to his car and the fact that she left hers in the middle of the road with the doors open. At her house, Spencer begs Toby to take her to her car, not even having time to explain why before Officer Wilden comes knocking on her door asking why her car was at the scene of an accident, but not reported stolen. Toby covered for his girlfriend, claiming he picked her up from school and they have been home alone all night. After the police leave, Spencer comes clean about driving Jason from the accident, claiming he could lose everything. Toby understood, but was really over dealing with the cops. I think “A” might be pushing another relationship to its breaking point very soon.
As Aria and Hanna were finally drifting off to sleep, Hanna saw an old doll on Aria’s floor and realized the code that Mona was speaking to her in. They called the other girls over for a late night conference and together spelled out Mona’s secret messages. No One To Save Ali From Evil = NOT SAFE. But who isn’t safe? Mona, or them? Where Were We? Maya Away Sleeping Sweet, Until Garrett’s All Rosy, Count On Me. = WWW.MASSUGAR.COM. It’s Maya’s personal website, however, unfortunately password encrypted. Too bad the girls missed the last, and possibly most important rhyme: Miss Aria, You’re A Killer, Not Ezra’s Wife = MAYA KNEW.
In our final “A” scene, the black hoodied terrorist broke into the children’s ward and popped the head off of one of Mona’s dolls, pulling out a voice recorder, which had the entire conversation.
What a gamechanger. Is Mona now a target? What did Maya know? Is Emily not so much a lesbian anymore? Next week, Aria’s relationship with Ezra faces another hurdle, a nasty looking Mama Fitz, while Caleb helps the girls hack into Maya’s secret website. Check out the promo below.
Reach reporter Kelly Hanelt firstname.lastname@example.org " target="_blank">here.