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With TV’s shiniest trophy less than 24 hours away from its new home as the prized possession of one of our top three contenders (Who needs a Classic Brit Award, a Super Bowl ring, or a People En Español Sexiest Men of the Year cover when they have a Mirrorball Trophy, right?), Katherine Jenkins, Donald Driver, and William Levy had one last chance Monday night to bring their A-game, to step up to the plate, to make it or break it … enough with the adages, you get it, they needed to just really freaking rock.

The wonderful thing about this season’s final three contestants is that they are all so different. I like to think of it in this little equation: sugar, spice, and everything nice. Sugar = Katherine, whose candy sweet demeanor throughout this competition has brought dentists all around the country booming business attending to all those Katherine-kuteness-kavities.  Spice = William, duh. Is there any other explanation needed? And everything nice = Donald, who surprised viewers week after week with his friendly positivity (even towards stingy Len, who adamantly refused to give him a 10), and fun, fresh routines.

This veritable variety of personalities lent itself well to the makeup of the finale – the first dance was chosen and coached by one of the judges to play up the contestant’s strongest technical aspects, and the second was a freestyle, which threw all the rules out the window and provided the teams the creative opportunity to really set themselves apart. Throughout the history of the show, the finalist with the best, most innovative freestyle often took the whole competition.

But before we get to the booty-shaking-1920’s-inspired-hoedown that was the freestyle round, let’s discuss our stars’ go-round with their last technical dances ever. Like ever ever.

Can I get a show of hands who was even remotely surprised that Bruno elected himself to “coach” William through his Cha-cha-cha? That’s right, no one. Even William called it just seconds before Bruno flamboyantly flung himself through the rehearsal room door and initiated the most uncomfortable rehearsal sequence I have ever seen. Somehow I fail to see how Bruno commenting, “your hip action is just sex on legs” could even slightly pass as constructive or beneficial, or really anything other than thinly disguised sexual harassment. Lucky for Bruno, this holy grail of hip action comprised about 75% of William’s choreographed contribution to the final routine. The Cha-cha-cha was cha-cha-charged with the sensual energy and Latin passion that William always has excelled at. Len said it was as good a routine as he’s seen in 14 seasons. Carrie Ann said it was William’s first cha-cha-cha (his first dance ever on the show) where she first saw the magic that he had, so it was a great way to end the season too. With 10’s all across the judge’s table, William and Cheryl took a perfect 30 for the first round.

Katherine and Mark were lucky enough for head judge Len Goodman to descend upon their humble Paso Doble rehearsal and provide them with spLENdid insight on how to obtain that perfect score of 30 that (ahem, ahem) someone had been keeping them from week after week. Lenny instructed Katherine to make big strong shapes, and to match the aggression of the Paso with the finesse of her ladylike movements. Their final routine was everything Len, and audiences across America, could have ever dreamed of. Sticking to a classic Matador theme, Katherine and Mark’s playful and passionate Paso transformed the ballroom into a Pamplona bullfighting ring, complete with an intense atmosphere and audiences clinging to the edge of their seats. Bruno said the routine was “full of vivid, lush, luscious artistry,” while Len found it full of “tasty tidbits to tingle your taste buds.” Haha, looks like I’m not the only one who likes alliteration. Katherine received unanimous 10’s to make up her first perfect score of 30 this season. Better late than never!

With William and Katherine both receiving a Len 10, the pressure was on more than ever for Donald to follow suit and earn that score he’s been chasing all season long. He and Peta had help from the charismatic Carrie Ann, who brought her years of experience judging next to Len to help the team devise a routine that would knock his stodgy old man socks off. Her advice? Content, content, content. She warned Donald and Peta not to waste anytime of their Argentine Tango on filler, especially since Donald has proved that he can excel at choreography-heavy routines. During the performance, Donald moved effortlessly. He made the slow but deceitfully difficult routine look like a piece of cake. Forget the “Men in Black”, this man in blue had all the badass moves and suaveness any television screen could possibly handle. Carrie Ann complimented the improved “crispness” of the routine, while Bruno found it’s cleverness, subtlety, and intimacy “very effective.” Unfortunately, the routine was too careful for Len, who wished to see Donald go at it with more intensity and energy. With a comment like that, no one was foolish enough to believe Len would reward Donald with his coveted 10, but the football star came close. With a 9 from Len, and 10’s from Carrie Ann and Bruno, he finished round one with a score of 29.

Now is when things really got fun. With all rules thrown out the window, these stars could finally let loose and do the craziest, most creative routines that they could think up. The freestyle round is no place to play it safe. Let’s take a look back at the freestyles of winners past. Hip-hop worked well for Apolo Anton Ohno and Shawn Johnson in their seasons, while themes like Nascar, Michael Jackson, “Grease”, and marching band carried Hélio Castroneves, Kristi Yamaguchi, Brooke Burke, and Hines Ward, respectively, to victory. This is really the time for the professionals to play up their partner’s personalities.

Unfortunately, Cheryl opted not to play up William’s personality so much as his personal appeal. After attempting to clean up their routines, per the judges’ request, Cheryl and William brought sexy back like Justin Timberlake in hopes of swaying voters one last time. During rehearsals, William was having difficulty with all the lifts Cheryl worked into the routine, but remarked that they were taking a big risk and from his life experience, the biggest risks had the best payoff. Then he dropped this gem on us “getting this far and not winning is like getting on a boat from Cuba and not making it to America.” And I really wish he hadn’t. That is so overdramatic it is borderline offensive. But, let’s not judge William just based on his one ignorant comment. Let’s judge him based on his freestyle that was just as sizzling and steamy as we expected. If you were looking for William to shake what his Momma gave him, and work that dance floor like his own personal strip club (minus the nudity), then he succeeded flawlessly. The one criticism I had was of Cheryl, who couldn’t contain herself from out-dancing her partner to a noticeable degree. The routine brought Carrie Ann to a conniption, as she shook and complemented William on breaking new ground. Len here cut in and started to argue with Carrie Ann, because, to him, the dance was too predictable. “All you do is shake your butt and get the women screaming,” said Len. I am sparing you Bruno’s comment for your own good. In the end, William and Cheryl were awarded 10’s from Carrie Ann and Bruno and a 9 from Len for a total of 29.

I’ve consistently claimed that Katherine’s secret advantage is Mark’s superior choreography skills, and this has never been more evident than in their freestyle. Mark’s two past champion partners, Kristi Yamaguchi and Shawn Johnson, were both athletes, unlike dainty opera singer Katherine. However, this didn’t stop him from pushing her to learn the crowd-pleasing backflip that brought both Kristi and Shawn’s routines to a trophy-winning level. This didn’t stop Katherine from grunting like Chewbacca every time he flipped her over. How unladylike! Luckily, there were no grunts present in their performance. There was, however, the added treat of Katherine singing at the beginning of their 20’s inspired routine before jumping right into the fast paced and overwhelmingly choreographed number. It was highly reminiscent of the charm and ingenuity of recent Oscar winner “The Artist.” Katherine and Mark’s freestyle earned nothing but praise from the judges. Bruno said he had “never seen so much content so fast, so well executed.” Len asked only,  “If I am asleep and dreaming, don’t wake me up.” Carrie Ann called it  “the dance of a champion.” With unanimous 10’s, Katherine and Mark took round two with another perfect 30.

Last, but absolutely not least, was Donald, who used his Sherlock Holmes deductive skills extensive knowledge of past seasons of “DWTS” to accurately predict William and Katherine’s game plans. Now all he needed to do was find something unexpected… something like Drew Lachey and Cheryl’s country-themed freestyle in season 2. If there is one lesson I want you to take away from this routine, it is: don’t mess with Texas! Rocked out in Greenbay Packer colors, Donald and Peta took line dancing to a whole new stratosphere with their fun routine. Accompanied by Cowboy Troy, Donald really displayed his dancing skill while still bringing something new, and completely him, to the table. Y’all make sure to watch this performance below, yah hear? The countrified freestyle didn’t just receive a standing ovation, it moved Carrie Ann to stand on top of the judges table to cheer for what she called, “by far my favorite dance tonight.” Bruno said that he can “never resist a ride in the wild, wild west,” and Len echoed these sentiments in a much less creepy way by calling the routine “fantastic.” And then, the moment we have been waiting for all season long, Donald got that Len 10. It happened, and it was glorious. Oh yeah, Carrie Ann and Bruno gave him 10’s too to complete his first perfect score of 30 for the season.

In the words of the most famous rabbit in the world (hey, maybe he wants to come on this show?) “That’s all folks!” It’s all down to you, the voters, to bring one of these three, very deserving contestants to victory. I mean, do you really want to be responsible for making Katherine cry, or make William live through the metaphorical disappointment of not making it into America? That’s what I thought. If you missed the finale, catch up here. And I’ll see you back to announce the winner tomorrow!