After watching all the antics that go on in the original “Dance Moms” series with a combined feeling of horror and guilty delight, many expected Lifetime’s spinoff show, “Dance Moms: Miami,” to take crazy to a whole new level. But the series premiere was disappointingly tame. 

Unlike Abby Lee Miller, the dance teacher from the original series in Pittsburgh, the owners of the Stars Dance Studio in Miami, actually seem to have at least some remnants of souls. Angel Armas and Victor Smalley (previously known for competing on “So You Think You Can Dance”) are tough on the kids and have high expectations, but they still show some compassion and understanding towards them. Whereas Abby could turn any dispute into a full-on war, Angel and Victor calmly and maturely keep their distance and try to subdue the drama. 

Fortunately the moms are a whole other story. As Angel wisely stated, “their husbands can’t control them…even God can’t control them.” Although a few of the dance moms seemed a little bit sane, the rest, especially Susan, are completely deluded. These women work these kids like crazy and are more competitive amongst themselves, than the kids are in competitions. I do give them credit for not arguing in front of their kids though, a lesson the Pittsburgh moms should take note of. 

Although the Miami moms gave me some satisfaction by affirming my own sanity, I was just waiting for Angel or Victor to lose it and start throwing chairs. Without the tyranny of a crazy dance teacher, the show is just a bunch of delusional middle-aged women squawking at each other over nothing, and in that case I might as well just watch any of the “Housewives” shows.

Could it be that not all dance teachers are on the verge of (if not in the middle of) experiencing a mental breakdown? I hope not, otherwise this bodes for a dull season.

Contact Writer Kandace Cook here.