Theater etiquette. A foreign concept to many, it seems. Well, I guess I shouldn't say that. Obviously, the majority of theater-goers know how to behave themselves at the theater, but there is a very obvious minority who flout the unwritten rules of theater with abandon, ruining the experience of those around them with little regard for anyone else's enjoyment of the show.

Going to the theater is a valuable experience. Not only is there the cost of the ticket (which can be upwards of $400 for some seats on Broadway!), but there's also the time commitment of being at the show, getting to the theater, finding parking, eating beforehand, etc. It is an ordeal, but, in my opinion, one of the most enjoyable ordeals in the whole world.

That is, except when someone accidentally ruins it for me. I say accidentally because I have enough faith in humanity to believe that no one would expressly go out of his or her way to ruin someone's time at the theater. Regardless, though, this ruining happens, and I would like to outline a few guidelines to prevent this in the future.

1. Please don't talk. Or sing. I understand if you need to finish your conversation as the overture or entr'acte is beginning, but beyond that, don't talk. Don't have a conversation with your friends. Don't talk to the performers, unless they are directly asking you to do so. Don't say the lines as the actors are saying them. Try not to titter when there is something you weren't expecting, like nudity or swearing, on stage (though its presence was probably noted on signs outside the theater and at the box office). Oh, and this rule also covers one of my biggest pet peeves: DO NOT SING ALONG. Please. We, the members of the audience, are here to see professionals—or, if not professionals, people who have been training to do this specific job for several weeks. I don't want to hear your rendition of the songs. I promise. (Unless your name is Gavin Creel, in which case yes please, but probably not during the actual show.)

2. Try not to leave your seat during the show. I know, shows are long, but please use the bathroom before the show and/or during intermission, if necessary. This also leads to subrule 2A.
    2A. Don't arrive late. Yes, traffic everywhere can be awful, particularly in big cities like Los Angeles and New York, but try to get to the show on time.
My reason for rules 2 and 2A is that it is very distracting for everyone behind you when you stand up and walk to or from your seat during the show, especially if you're seated in the middle of your row, and half of your row has to stand up as well, so you can get out and back in again.

3. Don't leave during the show. This kind of goes with rule 2, but there's more to it than just the issue of standing up. It's rude to the performers and your fellow audience members, If you really hate the show, leave at intermission. But please, for the love of Thespis, do not leave during the show. I once saw "Angels in America" in a small, black box theater, where the audience was seated on three sides of the stage. One of the audience members was apparently distressed by two men kissing on stage and got up and left during the scene, walking across the stage to do so. To me, that is the ultimate example of disrespect to the performers. Even if you don't personally agree with the content of the show, please put up with it until the next intermission. Live theater is not like watching a movie or television at home; you can't just change channels or turn it off without the performers knowing or the people around you noticing what you're doing.

4. If you didn't absolutely love the show, you don't need to give it a standing ovation. Please clap, it's a nice recognition of the performers' work and effort, but it is not mandatory to give a standing ovation to every show. By all means, if you adored the show, please do, but use it wisely.

5. Dress nicely. Try not to show up in sweats or the clothes you wore to repaint your house. At least try and look put together. Going to the theater used to be a special occasion, and while it has become more informal, you should still respect it by putting a bit of effort into your appearance. Obviously, you don't need to wear a ballgown to a show like "RENT" or "American Idiot," but please do try to look nice.

6. Save your criticism for the journey home. This is the rule I am most guilty of breaking myself, but it is a good one. You never know who may be sitting behind you, and do you really want to talk about how much you hate Performer X with his mother, who thinks the world of him, in earshot? You're allowed to dislike a performer's interpretation of a character, but try and only say nice things while you're still at the theater. I've heard of people who wait until they are two blocks away to say critical things of the show, and that makes sense to me.

Finally, and most importantly,
7. Use common sense. Don't flash the performers (apparently, this has actually happened before). Turn your cellphone off, or at least put in on silent (it's still audible when it's on vibrate) and don't use it during the show. Don't rifle around in your belongings if they will make noise, or unwrap candy or cough drops during the show. Don't litter in the theater, you're just making it more difficult for the ushers later. Think before you act.

I suppose these rules are not agreeable to everyone, but I do think they are a good set of guidelines for going to the theater. Live theater is, after all, a communal experience, and one rotten person can affect the experiences of those around him or her. So please, be considerate, and let everyone else enjoy the show!

Reach Katie here.