With an opening line like “l’chaim to humping”, last week’s episode of Fox's new comedy “The New Girl”, titled “Bully”, was entertaining, to say the least, largely due to all the great one-liners we got from our favorite resident Jewish douchelord, Schmidt. 

In this episode, we get to witness the awkward hilarity that is Schmidt and Cece as they enter the blurry friends-with-benefits territory. While this seems long overdue to most fans, as the sexual tension between the two was undeniable from the show’s beginning, many, myself included, never though stubborn Cece would ever give in to Schmidt. But who could deny a guy who throws out seductive one-liners comparing sex to various rare cheeses and refers to himself as a “sexual snowflake”, because “each night with me is a new experience?” Coming from a girl who has cheese as one of her main food groups, if a guy ever asked me if I wanted to “party with Havarti”, I’d be sold too. However, just because Schmidt and Cece are hooking up doesn’t mean Cece is comfortable with it, and throughout the episode we watch as they try to sneak around without actually being seen in public, as Cece is ashamed to be seen with Schmidt by anyone, especially her best friend (and Schmidt's roommate) Jess.

Meanwhile, elsewhere in the apartment, Nick starts to have a full-blown panic attack when he receives a cactus as a gift from his lawyer girlfriend Julia (or, as she will always be known to me, Janice Ian from “Mean Girls”). He, like a crazy, overanalyzing teenage girl, thinks that this gift means Julia is going to dump him, since he is known for being incapable of keeping plants alive. However, in a twist of events, it turns out Nick is right, and, after leaving a series of painfully awkward yet relatable drunk voicemails on Julia’s cell while she is away on business, she dumps him (which leaves room for Jess and Nick, who are now both single, to finally be an awkward, weird, adorkable couple! Please?). Winston and Jess attempt to console a heartbroken Nick, who is seen running around from place to place like an overly optimistic Mr. Rodgers on crack. He keeps on creeping into the background of scenes making uncomfortable sentimental comments about world peace and true love at inappropriate times. 

However, Jess soon runs into some trouble at work when she is made a joke by her classroom of Internet-savvy 12-year-olds when a video of her singing to the class goes viral. When she discovers the culprit (a snooty, know-it-all, she-devil who asks Jess why she’s single and tells her that she thinks her “happiness is a mask for her loneliness”), Jess, in a fit of rage, breaks the girl’s science fair project. Failing to fix it, the episode culminates with an argument breaking out at the middle school science fair when the girl’s parents realize Jess broke their daughter’s project. However, thanks to Winston, who taps into his former middle school “Brown Lightning” bully days to deal with the snotty girl and her parents, and Nick, who uses his sappy, on-the-verge-of-a-nervous-breakdown, Mr. Rodgers-isms  to divert everyone’s attention, no true fights break out, and everyone goes home happy. Well, except Nick, who is still heartbroken, but c’mon, homeboy could do so much better than Janice Ian, am I right? 

“New Girl” airs on every Tuesday on Fox at 9/8 central.