"Jersey Shore" Recap: Crabs Infest The Shore House
Shenanigans were a-plenty with the meatballs on this week’s episode of "Jersey Shore."
Sam and Deena put their extensioned heads together and decide the roommates should go crabbing and fishing on a nearby dock. This, of course, leads to the guidos and guidettes making endless references to themselves having crabs. They appear to be joking, but you never know with people who have a dedicated sex room in their house.
The meatballs suck at fishing. Deena says, “I feel like this is like my relationships. No one wants to grab my bait.” The two girls decide to take an inflatable raft out in the water instead. They paddle around awhile, but the wind starts to make them lose control of the boat. The boys decide that the meatballs should get off the raft before they hurt themselves. However, to get them out of the boat Mike and Ron decide to let the air out of it. The boat starts to sink, and Deena and Snookie flap around wildy. They get close to a real, non-inflatable, boat and the roommates yell at them to be careful because there’s something sharp on the other boat’s edge. The meatballs think that the roommates are yelling shark (instead of sharp), so they start to panic even more. In the panic, they fall out of the boat, realize they’re only in three feet of water, and see that there is no shark. The trip wasn’t a complete success, but at least the roommates all went home with crabs.
Snooki loses a bet to Mike and has to wear the bunny suit she bought a few weeks back out to Karma. She takes her punishment like a trooper, and dances the night away as Lola, her bunny alter ego. After Karma all the roommates head home, but Deena and Snooki aren’t quite ready to call it a night. Snooki says, “I kind of want to break some laws tonight.”
With the bunny head in tow, the two meatballs hop a fence, and run to play on the beach at 4 a.m. The cops eventually come and tell them they have to leave or they’ll be arrested. As the girls walk off the beach with the cops, Deena decides to work her guidette magic. She asks the cop to hold her hand (he refuses), and tells him that she bets he’s a “good time in real life"… And she wonders why no one is after her bait.
In other roommate news…
Pauly’s stalker is back. She stands outside of the Shore Store, wearing a Pauly D hat and t-shirt, and just stares at him while he works. Pauly says, “She’s going to kidnap me and have me dj in her basement… It’s going to be DJ Pauly Dead.”
Something is going on with Vinny and Snooki. Snooki isn’t getting laid enough by her boyfriend, and frequently mentions how badly she needs to get smushed. Vinny says, “If Nicole is breathing and Nicole is conscious, she is probably talking about sex.” She already cheated on her boyfriend with Vinny in Italy. And Mike swears she also cheated on her boyfriend with him a few months ago. But is she looking for Vinny to once again be the pickle in her jar? Only time, or next week’s episode, will tell.
Reach writer Briana Ward here
Check Neon Tommy every week for Briana's perspective on all things "Jersey Shore."