Last week’s episode ended with Vinny deciding to pack his bags and head home. The roommates seem a little sad about Vinny, A.K.A Pauly #2’s departure, but a drunken Deena takes the prize for most caring roomie. She cries by the bar. She cries in the bathroom. She cries at the house. She does a surprising amount of crying, but it’s probably to make up for the fact that Snookie couldn’t do any because her boyfriend would not be too happy about her crying over her past smush buddy. 

Unsure whether or not Vinny will return, some of the roommates decide to do their best to honor him. The Meatballs, A.K.A Snookie and Deena, take this opportunity to get what Snookie calls “wastypants,” which basically means that they both get belligerently drunk and dance around displaying their indifference towards wearing underwear. Even though they claim this is all in honor of Vinny, it really doesn’t stray all that much from their daily routine. Pauly, however, has a different idea of what it means to honor someone. He finds Vinny’s perfect girl and then proceeds to take her home and bang her in Vinny’s bed. What a true friend. 

While working at the Shore Store, The Situation meets a Bosnian girl. As she writes down her number for him, the classy girl mentions that she likes grilled cheese in the morning with the crusts cut off. Hopefully she also likes it to go because Mike is notorious for kicking girls out of the house the second the dirty deed is done. Unfortunately, the poor girl doesn’t even get to experience The Situation’s situation. He kicks her to the curb after spotting his recurring hook-up Paula at a nightclub. Sammie describes Paula thusly, “She may be dirty and grimy and disgusting. But she’s a nice girl.” Everyone in the house thinks The Situation might really like Paula. And that’s clearly evident from his shining quote about her, “She’s like AAA, you call her and she’s there”.

This week’s episode also features the birthdays of Pauly and The Situation. While The Situation gets some birthday sex from Paula, Pauly is the real birthday winner. He gets a visit from his family, a cake made by the girls of the house and his barber comes to visit and gives him a haircut, which in Pauly’s own words is “the best present ever”. With everyone fawning over Pauly, The Situation’s jealousy starts to rise. He finally gets so mad about the lack of attention from his roommates that he storms out of the house.

To quote the housemates, “And then there were six.” 

Reach writer Briana Ward here