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Slapstick Sports: Another Bitter Cowboy Ex-girlfriend Edition

Sara Ramsey |
July 7, 2011 | 12:54 p.m. PDT

Associate Sports Editor

Williams may have his ring back but could find himself without a job because of Dallas' tight salary cap. Photo courtesy of Creative Commons.
Williams may have his ring back but could find himself without a job because of Dallas' tight salary cap. Photo courtesy of Creative Commons.
Slapstick is a weekly article on Neon Tommy poking fun at some of the hottest topics and figures in sports.

Dallas Cowboys wide receiver Roy Williams is suing his ex-girlfriend Brooke Daniels, Miss Texas USA 2008, to recover a $76,000 engagement ring. Williams mailed Daniels the ring (as in put the ring in an envelope and sent it in the MAIL!). Along with the ring was a video-taped proposal. Daniels proceeded to decline the less than romantic offer—presumably by fax— yet never returned the ring. It has just been reported, though, that Daniels returned the ring after receiving an overnight package from Williams containing an edible fruit arrangement (with the chocolate dipped strawberries and pineapples) and a $150 gift card to Forever 21.

Robert Garrigus told Golf Digest this month that  “plenty of guys” on the PGA’s 2002 Nationwide Tour smoked marijuana between rounds. He claimed players would visit port-a-potties and take “drags” of the illegal substance. Upon release of this information Nike signed Garrigus to a 3-year, multi-million dollar endorsement deal of their new “Get High” line.

The Dodgers have launched a campaign to vote Andre Ethier to the National League’s All-Star Game roster. Ethier has joined forces with fellow Phoenix native, Paul Konerko of the Chicago White Sox. Although Konerko leads AL voting, Ethier trails behind Philadelphia’s Shane Victorino, but believes that the Dodgers' fan base will push him through. In other news, pigs have started to fly.

Tiki Barber is working hard to make his way back to the NFL. Barber left the NY Giants as one of the top running backs in the teams’ history. Fast forward to a lackluster stint as an NBC analyst where he became persona non-gratta to the Giants for the less than favorable comments about his former team and teammates. Add on the embarrassing media blitz for abandoning his wife, who was eight months pregnant with twins, for a hot, young NBC intern, the running back is now trying to fix the life he single-handedly ruined. You know it's bad when a guy that shot himself in the leg has a better chance of reviving his career than you do.

Pyeongchang, South Korea has won the bid to host the 2018 Winter Olympics. The IOC released a statement that they will forego the dog sledding event for safety reasons. (Was that too harsh?)

Television ratings for USA’s match against North Korea on Tuesday in the 2011 FIFA women’s World Cup came in at 0.9. That means .9% of US households watched the game. That means that that 99% of American still don’t care about women’s soccer.

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