Advice to children crossing the street: damn the lights. Watch the cards. The light ain't never killed nobody. - Moms Mabley

Sammi Says: Believe me when I say that you’re definitely not the only person on this boat. There is nothing worse than having to face something that annoys you on a daily basis but I challenge you to overcome it. It’s interesting that you mention coworkers, meaning that there is more than one. So it’s not a specific person but rather a type of personality or group identity when these people are together that you hate. I urge you to seek out one on one contact. Away from the mob mentality, people tend to act like a better version of themselves. Pick someone you think is the most open minded among that group and ask him/her to lunch or coffee. See how you engage outside of the work environment and outside of other peers. Assuming that you work in a place with a decent amount of colleagues, the odds are in your favor to find someone that you can tolerate and even befriend. However, as much as we cast blame onto other people for the animosity in our lives, sometimes we are just as responsible. Examine yourself and see if there are any improvements you could make to make yourself an easier person to befriend. 

Question: Do you have any tips for exuding fake confidence when you're nervous, especially in job interviews and presentations? I have an internship interview coming up that I'm completely terrified for.

Sammi Says: When I was little, my mom would always say to me, “if you don’t respect yourself, you can’t expect other people to.” Growing up with that philosophy was fantastic because I was my number one fan. I didn’t count on the praise from other people nor did I find my validation in other people recognizing my efforts. As long as I made myself proud, I was content with the job that I had done. So when you’re going into this interview, be your number one fan. Expect respect (that’s a tongue twister) from the other person and know that they would be lucky to have you as an employee. Be prepared, do your research, and know the materials. If you know what you’re talking about, you don’t have to fake any confidence because you are going to be confident. So when they ask you a question, simply answer the question. You have the answers and if you don’t BS around with them, they are going to see that you are completely qualified for the job. 

Question: I have a close friend who is extremely optimistic and sometimes, annoyingly so. She doesn’t realize that she comes off naïve and too idealistic. I feel like I can never go to her and say what I really think because she judges me for being so cynical. I don’t think that I am cynical; I just think that I am realistic about the world. I’ve always known that she is like that but lately I feel like its creating a wall between us where we can’t be honest with one another, what do you think I should do?

Sammi Says: Well first of all, I think that regardless of your personalities, the most important part of any friendship or relationship is communication and honesty. People have contrasting views all the time, if we didn’t, our world wouldn’t have developed the way it did. Constructive arguments, when they are actually constructive and not malicious, are good. People who avoid conflicts simply sweep everything under the rug. But to talk it out and compromise (you don’t even have to compromise, you just have to care enough to voice your opinions), that takes time and effort. It’s not up to me to say which of your guys’ approach to life is correct, but I will tell you that if you care and want to salvage this friendship – which you seem like you do just by reaching out and asking for advice – be honest. You don’t have to always agree with someone to love them and cherish the relationship. I certainly don’t always agree with the people that I love…like my mother. 

Email questions in here. I would love to hear from you guys!