Weekly Wonderings - Rodgers-Kunis Love Birds Edition
BYU forward Brandon Davies was reportedly dismissed from the basketball team for having sex with his girlfriend. A more extensive investigation across campus is expected to result in the dismissal of all athletes attending the university.
New York Mets’ outfielder Carlos Beltran will be moving to right field for this season. The organization decided to make the switch largely because right field is closer to the medical examination room.
Bob Knight has been elected as part of the 2011 class for the National Collegiate Basketball Hall of Fame. A flying chair advisory has already been issued for the upcoming event.
The Chicago Cubs have opened their search for a new commentator to the public. The franchise plans to use some interview material originally written by the late Harry Caray. Questions include: What qualifies you to be the voice of the Cubs? When did you first become interested in color commentary? And, if the moon was made of ribs, would ya eat it?!
Josh Beckett was cleared to play after being struck in the head by a flyball during Spring Training. Upon returning to action, Beckett jokingly wore a white shirt with the phrase “Can’t hit me.” After posting a 5.78 ERA in 2010, Beckett will ask if he can wear the shirt during games as well.
A “scuffle” broke out in the Chicago Cubs’ dugout during a Spring Training game. After preparing a statement for the press after the incident, pitcher Carlos Zambrano was shocked to find out he was not involved in the altercation.
San Francisco Giants manager Bruce Bochy dismissed rumors that Barry Zito will be released before the season. Bochy vehemently backed Zito, saying that the lefty is essential for providing acoustic guitar music and quality marijuana to the rest of the rotation.
The Los Angeles Galaxy lost on penalty shots to Club Tijuana of Mexico at the San Diego Clasico on Wednesday. In a display of good sportsmanship, however, Galaxy star Landon Donovan still agreed to participate in the customary exchange of illegal fireworks after the contest.
Offensive tackle Robert Gallery has decided that it is time for him to become a free agent and leave the Oakland Raiders. Gallery will now pursue his dream of becoming an extra in the GEICO caveman commercials.
NCAA officials are investigating the University of Oregon for recruiting violations. Those close to the investigation say that the team’s mascot is suspected of fowl play… In related news, pull my finger.
The NFL and the players’ union agreed to a 24-hour extension for negotiating a new collective bargaining agreement on Thursday. The extra time will be used to decide which side gets to use the commissioner’s beach house for parties during the 2012 lockout.
President Barack Obama stated that he will not step into the current NFL labor dispute. Obama said that he is too preoccupied with more pressing issues, such as filling out his bracket for March Madness.
The Franklin High School boys basketball team was eliminated in the semi-finals of the Sac-Joaquin Section Division I playoffs this week. It was a good run, gentlemen.
More next week...
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