Madison’s Juicy Sports Stories, Featuring Barry Bonds' Oddly Shaped Balls
The juiciest off-field sports stories of the week, courtesy of Neon Tommy's own Madison Besser:
1. Barry Bonds met his mistress in 1994 and they were together for nine years. She saw his body physique and head size change like the rest of the baseball world did. However, she was a little more up close with some other body parts of his as well. She testified in Bonds's perjury trial that the Home Run King’s sexual performance declined as their relationship went on, while his on-field performance was getting better and better.
His mistress also said that his testicles changed shape and shrank, which is a common side effect of steroid use. In addition to the changing features of his body parts, she also said that Bonds grew and shaved chest hair and developed acne on his back. Personally not a fan of “bacne” but it was clearly enough to keep her around.
2. Many NFL players were in Africa this week. Larry Fitzgerald was in Rwanda along with Derrick Morgan (Titans), Gerald McCoy (Bucs), Roy Williams (Cowboys), Tommie Harris (former Bear), Vernon Davis (49ers), Vontae Davis (Dolphins), Bryant McKinnie (Vikings) and Adrian Peterson (Vikings) took part in a mission to provide hearing aids and other assistance to people in the area with hearing impairments.
It’s great to see these stars being humanitarians and remembering about the less fortunate, despite their own money issues during the lockout.
3. This 2011 NCAA Tournament has been, without a doubt, one of the most unpredictable Final Four quartets of all-time. One side of the bracket has two of the biggest names in college basketball in UConn and Kentucky. The other side was not so predictable. In the highest seeded Final Four in history, eigth-seeded Butler faces 11th-seeded Virginia Commonwealth. VCU was by far the most controversial team to make the tournament. In fact, they had to play our own USC Trojans in the First Four just to get into the Big Dance.
Surely, no one could have predicted a Butler, VCU, Connecticut, Kentucky Final Four...right? Actually, there were two who did. Two different brackets on ESPN Bracket Pick’em picked a perfect Final Four out of 5.9 million entries. I guess all I can say is congrats to the two most idiotic-yet-genius predictions I have ever heard of.
4. Arizona was one of many improbable teams in the Elite Eight. They got there by upsetting top-seeded Duke in the Sweet 16 behind the play of Derrick Williams. Two members of the Phoenix Suns, Duke alum Grant Hill and Arizona alum Channing Fry decided to put a little wager on the game.
Hill, the former Blue Devil, lost and was forced to wear Arizona gear to practice, which sent the whole Suns team into laughter. It’s always nice to see guys repping their schools with pride.
5. Sanchez is now Top Chef? Well, not exactly. The Jets quarterback spent the last week in Las Vegas doing some charity work with the Boys and Girls Club of Las Vegas. He threw passes to Palms Casino and Sacramento Kings owner George MaloofT while putting on a clinic. He also showed off his cooking skills in the Palms Steakhouse kitchen, acting as a chef. Maybe he would fair better on Top Chef then he did in the playoffs last season
To reach Madison Besser, click here.