John Madden knows everything. Including the outcome of Super Bowl XLV. (Creative Commons)

• Ben Roethlisberger and Terry Bradshaw have apparently set aside their differences. Sources say the two hugged it out after uniting over a common enemy: eighth grade grammar.

• Little known fact: Brad Keisel’s beard and Troy Polamalu’s hair had a love child in the 1960s. That love child? You guessed it! The Addams Family’s own Cousin Itt.

• Security staff at Cowboys Stadium will be armed with tasers this coming Sunday in the unlikely event of an Everson Griffen citing.

• Maurkice Pouncey says he is 75 percent likely to play in the Super Bowl. Pouncey added that he is 87 percent likely to audition for the sequel to Planet Terror after the game.

• To celebrate his team’s Super Bowl birth, linebacker Clay Matthews took his teammates out for perms.

• Packers’ president Mark Murphy stated that he expects the team to eventually reconcile with Brett Favre. Team officials estimate that there will be a four-year waffling period during which Favre decides whether or not to accept the apology.

• As the Pittsburgh Steelers prepare to potentially win an NFL-best seventh Lombardi Trophy, the rest of the nation cowers in terror with the thought of hearing “Black and Yellow” non-stop for the next year looming ominously overhead.  

• Competition within the competition: Rashard Mendenhall versus B.J. Raji…Ready…DANCE!

• After being asked how he feels about Green Bay potentially having a better receiving corps than Pittsburgh, Hines Ward proceeded to throw a block that took out half the reporters present at media day.

• Aaron Rodgers’ experience as starting quarterback for Butte Community College helped prepare him better than any other player for becoming a champion…of keg stands.

• James Harrison may be more excited than anybody about the Black Eyed Peas’ halftime performance. In fact, his love for “Boom Boom Pow” has been known to get him in trouble with the league office from time to time.

• Terrible towel + cheese head = disgruntled cheesecloth?

• Advertisers will apparently be pulling out all the stops for this year’s crop of Super Bowl ads. Word on the street is that the E*TRADE baby will fight the Geico gecko to the death for America’s soul.

• A Madden video game simulation predicted that the Pittsburgh Steelers will defeat Green Bay on Sunday. When a group of Madden loyalists were asked about the prediction, they yelled at the reporter for letting light into the basement.

• Super Bowl prediction: Los Angeles over Philadelphia 21-14. Tune into the Lingerie Football League final during halftime to see if I’m right. Go team Temptation!

More next week…