• Carmelo Anthony has enough suitors to be on The Bachelor. Unfortunately for Jay-Z and the Nets, a Jersey Shore appearance does not seem to be in order.

• With the recent signing of Jim Harbaugh, 49ers fans are looking forward to next season like a Phish concert on 4/20.

• Note to Antonio Cromartie: That extra jewelry on Tom Brady’s fingers does not make him an a**hole. It makes him a three-time Super Bowl champion. Expect a harsh reminder of that on Sunday.

• The recent $2 million ticket sales scheme at the University Kansas marks the school’s biggest scandal since attempting to pass off Scott Pollard as a first round draft pick.

•  Comeback stories are nice, but there is some poetic justice in Michael Vick’s fairytale story getting slammed shut by the Green Bay Packers.

• Who would have guessed that appearing as Luther “Shark” Lavay in Any Given Sunday would be the highlight of Lawrence Taylor’s post-NFL career.  

• The Yankees have reportedly agreed to a deal with Rafael Soriano after losing the Cliff Lee sweepstakes…that’s like promising your kid a Ferrari for their sweet 16 and pulling up in the driveway with a Dodge Dart.

• After an early playoff exit, there is some concern that Peyton Manning’s window for a championship is closing. I’d be willing to bet that his laser-rocket arm finds a way to fire a 60-yard touchdown pass through that window. 

• LeBron James is now nursing a sprained ankle just a few days after trash tweeting his former team. Ain’t karma a b****?

• By hanging close with Auburn in the BCS Championship game, Oregon showed everyone that a mediocre season for the Pac-10 is every bit as legitimate as a mediocre season for the SEC. 

• Maybe Jets head coach Rex Ryan should have gotten offseason surgery to fix his uncontrollable verbal diarrhea as opposed to his expansive waistline.

• Toes on the nose, Wes Welker!

• First the Seattle Seahawks knock off the defending Super Bowl Champions. Now Rams offensive coordinator Pat Shurmur has been brought on as head coach for the Cleveland Browns. Isn’t this the same division that didn’t have a team finish above .500 this season?

• Maybe Andrew Luck should use his extra year in school to take a few Economics classes…

• Special congrats to the Saddleback Valley Wolverines Pee Wee football team for winning the Toyota Tiny Football League contest!

More next week…