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The Ultimate Grammy FAILS!

Ryan Faughnder |
December 2, 2010 | 12:40 a.m. PST

Associate Editor

The Grammy nominations elicit guffaws every year from every kind of music snob, and this year's lineup does not disappoint at all. Anyone looking for a roundup of irrelevant, safe, and downright embarrassing artist recommendations from music’s biggest award show? Here are this year's biggest failures in taste. 

Katy Perry
Katy Perry

1. Katy Perry, Pt. 1. Nominated for Record of the Year and (eh, hem) Best Female Vocal Performance (for “Teenage Dream”). Naturally, Perry is the center of the most egregious Grammy screw-ups. No nods to “Firework,” though, so the Grammy folks obviously aren’t completely deaf.

2. Katy Perry, Pt. 2. “California Gurls” is up for Best Pop Vocal Collab. To recap: Of all the times Snoop Dogg has been nominated for a Grammy, he has never won. Can’t wait to see him get his first win for phoning it in on a bubblegum jam. I hope he accepts the award via Skype.

3. Kenny G (!) Not kidding. Up for Best Pop Instrumental Album. At least they had the sense to not call it "jazz."

4. "Hard" Rock. Why does the list of 2010 nominees look like a who’s who of crappy modern rock from 1997? Alice in Chains. Soundgarden. Stone Temple Pilots. For Album of the Year, why don’t they nominate that as-seen-on-TV “Buzz Cuts” compilation? This year’s Lifetime Achievement Award goes to Creed.

5. Metal. Megadeth. Slayer. Maiden. To be nominated in this category, you’d better be from the 80s. Or Korn. To be fair, the new Iron Maiden record is pretty awesome. And yes, they actually formed in the 70s.

6. Train vs. the Cast of Glee. The least badass rivalry of all time! For (deep breath) Best Pop Performance By A Duo Or Group With Vocals, we’ve got Glee doing “Don’t Stop Believing” and Train doing by far the most annoying song of the year, "Hey, Soul Sister." In a weird turn of specificity, the Grammys nominated the LIVE version, which would only make sense if the live version omitted that “You’re so gangster, I’m so thug” line.

7. The orchestral intro to the Gorillaz album. Nominated for Best Pop Instrumental Performance. How does that one go, again? Hey, I’ve got an idea. Let’s give an award to the track everybody immediately skips in order to get to the actual songs. While we’re at it, let’s make a category for Best Skit on a Rap Album.

8. Bie-ber! Bie-ber!

9. Best Rock Solo Vocal Performance. John Mayer is the only dude nominated who was born after the Truman administration.

10. Whiny Twitter Reactions. All the tweeters moaning that their favorite indie bands didn’t get picked. Is anyone really so surprised and appalled that the National got snubbed?

Contact Ryan Faughnder here. Follow his whiny Twitter reactions here.



 

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