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Warning: She-Devil Is Out To Get You

Helen Jeong |
October 6, 2010 | 1:02 a.m. PDT

Columnist

Maneater (Creative Commons)
Maneater (Creative Commons)
We all have great men in our lives -- the ones who are dear to our hearts, and whom we want to care for and protect.

As a person with a 23-year-old baby brother, I'm constantly scared that some little tart will seduce him, get what she wants, and break his heart. And this tart tends to have similar qualities that we often see in men who should be banned from dating women.

Women should also be banned from dating men who tend to be selfish, inconsiderate and untrustworthy. As I was reflecting on the type of men we, women, should avoid in my last column, it also occurred to me that there are many she-devils that our boys and brothers should also avoid.

*Disclaimer: The following stories are true stories, but their names may have been altered.

1. She ain't messin' wit no broke boys

I have to be honest. I, shamefully, sometimes find gold digger in me. As I get older and become more pragmatic, I find myself estimating the value of men in a fiscal sense. In my and all other respectable women's defense, we want to see whether men we are dating would be good providers for our potential, sometimes imaginary, family. After all, I won't be buying a nice, little house in Calabasas by writing dating columns. But there are some women who are blatantly after the gold. And if you are a man who is secure enough with your masculinity and reads my humble dating column, you should run away from these women.

Jennifer is a 28-year-old woman. She is a legal secretary at a law firm. With her salary, she probably cannot afford a nice car or expensive bags. But she drives around in her Bimmer, wearing her Chanel sunglasses and Marc Jacobs clothes. Certainly, she is pretty and well put together. Men may find her attractive because of her glamorous looks, but they will soon find their bank accounts hemorrhaging. That's because women like Jennifer want AT LEAST a Louis Vuitton bag for Christmas.

Jennifer once told me she was so mad at her boyfriend and wanted to break up with him. The reason? The boyfriend got her Tiffany earrings for Valentine's Day. How appalling!! How dare he not give her a Harry Winston diamond ring? Women like Jennifer are high maintenance and exhausting to be around. And more likely, they would not have many girlfriends, either. Whether you are a man or woman, if you are a person with a sensible mind, you would not want to be around materialistic, shallow and empty people like her.

2. She's a man-eater

No, really! One of my childhood friends, James, is a really good guy. He's a funny, charming, well-educated and polite man from a wealthy family. Any girl would be lucky to be with him. A few years ago, he met this girl, Kelly. Kelly was a kindergarten teacher who happens to be a pretty, tall, skinny stick figure. But there was something about her.

And no, my friends and I did not dislike her because she was pretty. At the risk of sound like a lunatic, Kelly had a dark aura. At around 11 p.m. on December 7, 2007, James, our other childhood friend, Hayley, and I were on the phone together. We were talking about ditching work the next day and making an overnight snowboarding trip. Suddenly, James said he wanted to see if his girlfriend would like to come along. So he hung up and called Kelly. Although the snow was perfect at that time, Kelly begged him not to go and said, "We can always go next time -- just us." Disappointed and kind of pissed off that my friend was whipped, I went to bed.

The next morning around 6, I received a call from an unknown number. I didn't pick up and slept right through. A few hours later, my mother, Mrs. Jeong, called and said, "You need to call James. He's in big trouble." It turned out, a few hours after we had ended our phone conversation, somebody broke into his apartment, smashed his skull with a hammer and ran off.

This monstrous person turned out to be Kelly's live-in boyfriend, whom she was double-timing with James. James and Kelly had been saving money to get married. To have the $50,000 all to herself, Kelly and her other boyfriend planned to murder my friend. I thank God every day that James has survived.

Although Kelly and the monster are behind bars for attempted murder, James has a broken heart and damaged body. He is still seeing a physical therapist to walk like a normal person and still having a hard time trusting women.

3. Women with no girlfriends

Men who are not well liked by other men tend be socially awkward and, sometime, sissy. They are incapable of appreciating a cold beer and a good football game.

Similarly, women who are not liked by other women are generally bad news. I understand some women are tomboys, and they may have a hard time relating to other women. But most of the women who are intentionally alienated by other women tend to be shady, dishonest and extremely insecure.

Jenna is a 22-year-old woman. She has no girlfriends to call when she is having a bad day. Her selfishness has driven her friends away. She does not have Girls' Night Out. She does not have anyone to turn to when she's going through a breakup. She only has guy friends. And she has slept with most of them.

Although I understand some women may have a greater sexual appetite, these women go through a series of men, hoping that the men will make them feel special.

On the contrary, she is constantly being used by men, and these so-called friends refer to her as a "bus" -- everybody gets on at some point.

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If you are dating or know someone who is dating a Kelly, Jennifer or Jenna, pass on this column. These women can be potentially dangerous to men's hearts and souls.

To reach columnist Helen Jeong, click here.



 

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