To the outside eye, Kody Brown of Lehi, Utah looks like the all-American father and husband - and he is, except that he has four wives, 16 children and three stepchildren. Brown and his family are the stars of TLC’s new show reality “Sister Wives,” which details life in a polygamous family.

The police department in Lehi initiated a bigamy investigation before the show aired its first episode last week.  According to Utah law, bigamy is a felony and defined as, “when a person knowing he has a husband or wife or knowing the other person has a husband or wife, the person purports to marry another person or cohabits with another person.”

The legal definition is important because Brown is reportedly only legally married to first wife Meri; however, wives Janelle, Christine and newest wife Robyn and their respective children all live under the same roof.  Police officials said they will report their findings to the county attorney’s office for possible prosecution, but no further information has been released.

For their part, the Brown family said they knew participating in the show would come with risks.

Make no mistake, this family is not living the polygamous life of Warren Jeffs.  All of the sister wives were consenting adults at the time of their marriages, and there is no evidence or reports of child abuse or neglect, and Brown is no deadbeat dad. They live in a residential neighborhood, not some commune in the middle of nowhere.  

I usually find it advisable to not comment on what people do in the privacy of their own homes, and especially not to comment on someone’s religious beliefs - the Brown family are fundamentalist Mormons, but not members of the Mormon church which banned polygamy in 1890 - but something about their situation just seems off to me.  

I’ve watched a couple episodes of the show ,so allow me to play armchair psychologist for a moment.  The family seems pretty well adjusted, though newest wife Robyn seemed to be an overwhelmed single mother of three in this week’s episode (filmed before she and Kody “married”).  The wives get along very well, and you can see the sense of community the family has; however there is an underlying tension.

It is hard for me to believe the wives when they say the more the merrier, or when Kody when he says that love should be multiplied, not divided, when everyone is visibly upset a few minutes later.

A very pregnant Christine (wife no. 3) at one moment during the couch confessional is talking about how exciting courting is, and the next moment she’s in tears discussing how the new marriage needed to happen, but it doesn’t make it any easier.  I know I wouldn’t be very pleased if my husband - whether I was in a plural marriage or a monogamous one - was traveling 300 miles away to court a new wife while I was pregnant.  Maybe I’m selfish.

I appreciate that the Brown family wanted to come out of the shadows (their words) to show people what their world is like; however, I personally don’t think the picture is as rosy as the one they believe they’re painting.  When I watch the couch confessionals, I do see family but I also see a great deal of pain.  There are sad tears shed on multiple occasions and at least one of the wives (Meri) is constantly looking down as if in a state of sorrow.  At first, I thought I might be projecting my feelings about their life choice onto her and reading too much into it, but the preview for next week’s episode makes it appear as if Meri is considering leaving the family.

By no means am I rooting for any sort of family break-up, but I am a realist and I find it hard to see the viability in any way of life that forces family members to keep secrets.