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It's Just A Little Crush

Helen Jeong |
September 7, 2010 | 12:24 p.m. PDT

Columnist

(Photo courtesy of Creative Commons)
(Photo courtesy of Creative Commons)
A girl never forgets her first crush.  

Mine was a high school basketball star.  He was tall, handsome and a bit cocky.  He rocked the basketball court every time he stepped out. 

I wrote him letters, gave him candy and went to every game.  And I made sure everyone knew that I had a big-league crush on him.

I was obsessed with him during my entire freshman year. But soon he moved on to UCLA under a full, athletic scholarship. And I moved on to dating other boys.

Four years later, I ran into him in Los Angeles. He was a senior basketball player at UCLA, and I was a freshman.    

But I was not a 14-year-old kid anymore.  

When I saw him again, I didn’t feel a thing. I asked myself, “Helen, are you really that big of an a-hole? Do you not feel anything because he is no longer a basketball star and is a benchwarmer who has no chance of getting into the NBA?”  

To answer that question, yes, I am a big a-hole at times. But I no longer had butterflies in my stomach not because of his ebbing career; rather, it was because I was older and stopped having a crush.

As we get older, we go through a number of men (or women for manly men who read my column.) Some of them disappoint us, break our hearts or waste our time. And during that process, we can become jaded and cynical. Then we forget the romantic notions of having a crush.  

When you have a crush, it doesn’t matter if he is looking your way. Just being in his presence alone makes you the happiest kid on the block.

It also doesn’t matter to you what kind of car he drives, where he went to school or what kind of job he has.  All the practical ways of judging someone as your potential boyfriend are thrown out the window.

Sex is not even an issue. Just the thought of holding his hands is good enough to make you grin like a fool. 

Lately I've begun to reminisce over young and innocent days as I have a crush on my LSAT teacher, Justin. I giggle like a little girl every time he smiles at me.  I flirt with my eyes so that he can notice me among 40 other students in the class.  I try to put on cute tops for Mondays and Thursdays, which I now call “date nights with Justin.”

My normal, aggressive, obnoxious self would have made a move on him a long time go.  But for now, I am enjoying the romanticism of this crush.  I’m back to being a 14-year-old girl who looks forward to walking by her crush just for a few seconds of the day.

For those of you who are disappointed and heartbroken after your pragmatic attempt to find a mate failed you, go out there and have a crush.  It will give you an entirely different perspective on dating, life and men in general. 

So have fun and go back to your carefree days, even if it may be just a crush.

To reach Helen, click here.



 

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